Bed of Roses
by Moria Polonius
Summary: Lily Evans has everything. Good grades, a position of a Head Girl, friends and a perfect boyfriend. But when the insinuations undermine that perfect image, when lies and hatred take their toll... the perfect world crumbles. James/Lily.
1. Part One

**A/N:** Please forgive me my spelling, grammar and any misuse of words and expressions. English is not my first language and the spell-check is lost somewhere on the hard drive. So deeply I can't find it. 

**Bed of Roses**

**Part One**

***

"Potter has the Quaffle... YES, Gryffindor scores! Sixty to forty for Gryffindor!!!" 

Lily could no longer hide her enthusiasm. "Go, James, go!" 

The cheering crowd rose from the stands. The match has been going for over three hours already, but was far from boring. The Slytherins had excellent Beaters and a hell of a Seeker and several times they were dangerously close to knocking the Gryffindor Seeker off the broom or catching the Snitch. Normally Lily wasn't much for Quidditch. When Gryffindor didn't play she didn't even bother to watch the games. But when her own House team played, the adrenaline could go really high. Or when James Potter was flying around on the broomstick... She quickly pushed those thoughts away. Better not to go there. But her eyes stubbornly kept following him. 

It was another hour before Andrew Hickman, Gryffindor Seeker -- a small fifth-year -- dived and snatched the Snitch almost from Anabell Wilkes' hands. 

The shouts from all around the pitch were deafening, but Lily didn't care. She turned to Remus standing beside her clapping his hands and yelling louder than anyone.

"We won! We won, Lily! The first match this year and we won! Great job Andrew!!!"

She laughed at her boyfriend. It was almost weird how such a calm, studious person could be crazy about Quidditch. It was probably Remus greatest disappointment when he had to resign from the position of a Beater in his fifth year due to his frequent indispositions. 

"Was there any doubt we wouldn't?" 

Remus nodded energetically. "And a big one too! All it would take is Lestrange and Rosier having had two more weeks of training and we might have found ourselves scraping Sirius and James from the ground. Peter's no match for them. Just don't tell it to Peter!" he added in an afterthought. 

"Who do you think I am?" Lily feigned offence watching the players fly up to Andrew and congratulate him.

"Besides," Remus continued, "Andrew caught the Snitch by pure luck; the wind has blown it out of Wilkes' hand straight into Andrew's, didn't you notice?" 

Lily shook her head. "No." 

Not for the first time she admired Remus' superior eyesight. Even long hours over books couldn't destroy it. 

"Well, I did. Last year we won out match against Slytherin only because James, Sirius and Liz scored over three hundred points before Wilkes caught the Snitch. And in our fifth year we lost, remember?" 

Lily rolled her eyes. "Do you keep track of all the games you watch?" 

He grinned at her. "I'm cursed with excellent memory." 

"Good, she murmured. "Then you won't forget to lend me _'Animate into Animate'._ I suppose Sirius has returned it to you by now." 

Remus sighed. "Yes, he did. It's- look!" 

He pointed the players slowly landing on the pitch. Lewis Lestrange, his face in a grimace of fury, swung his bat and viciously hit the Bludger that hasn't yet been caught. The Bludger entered a new course, a course that led straight to James Potter. 

"Ahhhh..." the crowd gasped as the Bludger hit James in the ribs. Breathless, the Chaser fell to the ground. From thirty feet. 

***

James opened his eyes. The bright sunlight hurt his eyes so he promptly closed them again. "James? James, are you awake?" 

That voice. The voice that sounded like heavenly music. Like a whisper of water in the stream behind his house. The voice of an angel or a water fairy. The voice of Lily Evans. 

He decided to be a brave boy and open his eyes. So he did. And was rewarded with the most wonderful image his brain could come up with. Lily, bending over and touching his forehead lightly. But then sharp pain stabbed him in the chest... and the vision didn't vanish. It frowned with concern. It was not a dream. 

"Lily?" he asked weekly, his voice coming in a faint croak. "What happened? Where...?" 

"The Hospital Wing. Lestrange hit you with a Bludger." 

"Son of a-" James tried to get up, anger boiling within him. "After the cushioning charms were taken off..."

Lily pushed him back onto the bed. "Calm down. You don't have fever, but it doesn't mean you're ready to get up. Madam Pomfrey would kill me if I let you up now, when you're almost all right." 

Well, he could imagine worse things happening to him than lying in bed and having Lily Evans fuss over him. So he obediently laid back and accepted a glass of clear yellowish liquid. 

"Merlin, what is it?" he spluttered after drinking it. The taste was terrible. 

"A Muscle-Relaxing potion. It will help for your sore chest." 

James took a deep breath. True, it was much easier to breathe now.

"You had three ribs broken," Lily informed him. "Madam Pomfrey had to use the Bone-Mending charm, a little like a Skele-Gro, you know..." 

"Really?" 

She blushed. "Sorry. I must be boring you. You should be resting, not listening to my babbling." 

"Hey, it's not a crime!" James protested. "You want to be a mediwitch after all. And I would prefer to listen to your babbling than to nothing at all. I don't like silence when I'm in the Hospital Wing."

"Neither do I," she answered, sitting on his bed. "Does anything else hurt?" 

"No, not really." 

"Good. So tell me, did you read _'Lord of the Rings?'_" 

He groaned. "Lily, it's been only five days since I borrowed it from you! I'm on the end of first book." 

"It's not that bad!" the girl brightened. "It's a lot to talk about! Did you like it?" 

James made a grave face. "Lily..." 

Her face fell. "You didn't." She looked as though she was going to cry. 

James's facade cracked. "I'm kidding! It's fantastic!" 

She hit him playfully on the arm and he winced in pain. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't want-"

"It's okay, I'm fine!" 

She backed away a little to make sure she wouldn't hurt him again. Much to James's unvoiced displeasure. 

"What did you like best?"

He seemed to wonder about that for a second. "The Elves," he said finally. "I wish we had Elves like that in wizarding world. I think they would look like you." 

Lily stared at him for a moment, in silence. _Idiot,_ James thought. _You stupid, stupid idiot. She's got a boyfriend, you fool! _

"Never mind. What did you like best?" 

"The Elves. I always imagined that I'm one when I was little." 

Silence. 

And the knock on the door, breaking the moment. They both jumped. 

"Enter," Lily called. 

"Hail, oh fallen hero!" Sirius joked, opening the door. 

James was happy to see his friend. He truly was. He only wished Sirius picked some other time. Sirius Black, the epitome of bad timing. 

"Let me guess. You had nobody to harass so you came to finish off a poor helpless invalid." 

A snort came from behind Sirius' back and Peter stepped in. "As if he needed to. He has almost finished _me_ off, moaning about Madam Pomfrey not letting us visit you. Remus hid in a library and there was I - a walking bull's eye ready to be aimed at." 

"I wasn't that bad," Sirius muttered unconvincingly. 

"No, you were worse," came another voice and Remus' head appeared in James's line of vision. "And you should hear the ideas of revenge on Lestrange he came up with." 

James grinned even though his heart clenched with jealousy as he saw Remus automatically stand beside Lily and taking her hand. "Give me your worst," he said lightly. 

"The worst?" Remus frowned in thought. "I think it was transfiguring Lestrange into a girl and making him shag Snape." 

Lily got a sudden coughing attack. "You know, it might not be such a good punishment. I heard some girls in Slytherin consider Snape attractive." 

All boys looked at her in utter disbelief. 

"You must be kidding," James demanded. 

Lily only shrugged. 

"Ewww," Peter wrinkled his nose in disgust. 

"Damn right, Pete." Sirius confirmed. "But even if, we have Pete's plan instead." 

"And that would be?" 

Sirius smiled evilly, which didn't really suit him. "Making Lestrange shag Snape without turning him into a girl!" 

James couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Oh Merlin, Sirius, bad mental image! Bad mental image! I won't be able to think of anything else now! You have such a dirty mind!" 

"Not me - Peter," said Sirius smugly. 

"Yeah, sure, Peter. Why do I always end up as a freak?" Peter asked dramatically, pointing his index finger at himself. "Do I look like a pervert?" 

"Absolutely," James said. 

"You're a king of perverts, Pete," Remus agreed. 

"You're beyond any Slytherin," Sirius added. 

"And I'm such a romantic at heart!" Peter sighed and put a hand on his heart. "I only wait for my only love to walk into my life and indulge in all those delicious perversions with me."

"Was Lestrange punished?" James asked curiously. 

"Twenty points from Slytherin and a detention," Remus informed him. 

"Only twenty points?!" 

"Professor Castor was first to take care of it. McGonagall would have detected at least hundred." 

They all nodded in agreement. Professor Castor, Slytherin Head of House and a DADA teacher, all but taught all the dirty tricks the Slytherins usually came up with. 

"Well," Lily said getting up, "I will leave you to your revenge boys. Tomorrow at ten, Remus?" "I'll be there," Remus answered. 

Lily left the room and it seemed to James that the room suddenly turned a slightest bit darker. Especially after that little reminder that she was with Remus. It took him a lot of effort to keep smiling. He was madly in love with his best friend's girlfriend. It was nothing to laugh about, really. 

***

This evening Lily was more than a little upset. First, that scary accident on the Quidditch pitch. _No, not an accident,_ she thought, fists clenching with rage. _An attempted murder!_ Not a murder with premeditation perhaps, but a murder nonetheless. She could see that mad gleam in Lestrange's eyes. A will to kill. James didn't even know how close his brush with death was. And if James died... 

She looked up to the ceiling above her bed.

Then what? Who was he to her? A friend. A Head Boy to her Head Girl. They worked together. They got along very well. But that silent moment in the Hospital Wing... it was something else entirely. _Pity he thinks_ 'Lord of the Rings' _is silly._

Everything else was perfect. She had a perfect boyfriend and she was thinking about another man? What was wrong with her? And James Potter to that? A Quidditch star - and she wasn't even interested in Quidditch. An outgoing, friendly personality, constantly cracking jokes - and she was rather shy and serious. A son of an ages-long wizarding line - and she was a Muggle-born. A popular boy who could have any girl he wanted - and she was plain, unfashionably dressed Lily Evans. They had nothing in common. 

_But he likes_ 'Lord of the Rings.'

"Lily? Hello? Lily!" 

Lily finally noticed the hand that was waving in front of her face. 

"What?" she snapped irritably, brutally awakened from her musings. Daisy was her best friend, but that didn't entitle her to disturbing her when she was doing some serious thinking! 

"Sorry. I only wanted to ask about James." 

Lily felt a small wave of shame wash over her. Of course Daisy was worried about James. Entire House was worried. And Daisy used go out with him last year. "He's fine. Madam Pomfrey did a fantastic job - I assisted." 

"That's a relief. To fell from thirty feet... He could have been killed!" 

"Yes, he could have." 

Daisy shook her blond-haired head and made a face. "Yes, he could have," she mimicked. "You're no good tonight." 

"I'm just tired." 

The other girl sighed. "I suppose. You had to help Madam Pomfrey and do your Head Girl duties. I have no idea how you do it." 

"Good organisation." 

"Hufflepuffs do good organisation, we don't. What do you do tomorrow? It's a Hogsmeade weekend." 

"I go out with Remus." 

"You go out? On a _real_ date? I want all the gory details!" 

"There are no gory details. He needs a new robe and I'm helping him choose one." 

Daisy was impressed. " You choose his clothes? When am I going to hear the wedding bells?" 

"Daisy!" 

"Say... did you sleep with him? And I'm not talking about sleeping here..." 

"DAISY!" Flushed deep crimson, Lily shifted on her bed. The thought about having sex with Remus was unsettling. Deeply unsettling. Like in: wrong. "I didn't! I'm... underage."

"You're seventeen, a year past the age of consent." 

_Sometimes,_ Lily thought, _Daisy is too liberated for her own good._ "I'm going to wait until eighteen." 

Daisy covered her pretty face with a pillow in a mock exasperation. "You're boring, you know? You're boring, mate." 

Boring. James was anything but boring. He wouldn't spare a bore like her a second glance. Daisy, on the other hand, was interesting. So why she and James broke up? It was a great mystery of the last year.

Boring. It hurt. 

"Maybe I should start going out with a Slytherin. Like Leocadia Lowell." Leocadia was the great mystery of their fifth year. A Hufflepuff prefect who started to go out with Lewis Lestrange and - the biggest surprise - was quickly accepted by his friends. The Slyth Six they were called, even though Leocadia was a Hufflepuff. 

"Don't even think of that. All those Slytherins in our year are so creepy. I have no idea how Leocadia can put up with Lestrange... the bastard." 

"She's changed a lot lately. But not all are that creepy. Nicholas Avery is nice." 

"To you. Everyone is nice to you. No spice in your life, none at all." 

A bitter smile appeared on Lily's face. "Bed of roses, really." 

Daisy had good grace to look embarrassed. "Sorry, I forgot about Petunia. And that argument with your parents. But here at Hogwarts... you have everything." 

Lily sighed. "I do, don't I?" 

She good grades, a position of a Head Girl, friends, a perfect boyfriend, no enemies. And she was boring. 

***

**A/N:** This is my first try at James/Lily pairing - and just a cookie. Does this sound credible? If it does, I have a fic planned, although I don't promise the chapters would follow soon. It sounds like romance/romance now, but is intended as a drama. Any comments? 


	2. Part Two

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews. About the last chapter: **EmeraldQUeen** - the Beaters are supposed to knock the other players off their brooms, but only during the game, not after it's finished; attacking unaware and unsuspecting person is rather mean. If anybody thinks that James was too lovey-dovey, I want to remind that he has just fallen off a broom. And hit his head. Hard. There is also spoiler for _'Lord of the Rings,'_ so beware!

**Bed of Roses**

**Part Two**

***

Remus was ill again, there was no doubt about it. His handsome face was pale, sweat drops glittered on his forehead, his hands shook. 

"Remus? Perhaps you should go to Madam Pomfrey?" Lily asked worriedly. The Potions lesson was not the best of times to get trembling hands. She took the knife out of his hands and began to shop his beetles. 

After a moment of hesitation, Remus took the knife back, rejecting her help. "I'm fine. It's nothing. Madam Pomfrey's given me a potion." 

Lily nodded, feeling as though she has overstepped boundaries again. Remus' health was a particularly sensitive subject, almost a taboo. It was the only thing he didn't talk to her about and she always felt like an intruder whenever she tried to help. 

Loud voice of professor Vodkan snapped her out of her reverie. "Attention students, attention! Mr. Pettigrew, aren't you going to share those hilarious news with the rest of us? Miss Wood wouldn't mind, would she?" 

Peter and Olivia ceased their exchange of gossips. Good thing about Professor Vodkan, a former Hufflepuff, was that he wasn't very strict. Nothing like McGonagall or Castor. Lucky Hufflepuffs, to have Sprout, Kettleburn and Vodkan in their House. 

"As a homework, you will distil the base for the Relaxation Potion. The ingredients for it can be found around Hogwarts - Attention, Miss Branstone! - and they are to be turned in by next Monday! - Two points from Hufflepuff, Miss Gudgeon! - And since now, you will have to prepare a potion on your own, without my guidance, every month. The classroom will be available to you. This is going to be part of your N.E.W.T.s!" 

The last words worked better than any silencing spell. N.E.W.T.s were a magic word to every seventh-year. Unfortunately, professor Vodkan has finished. The students noisily gathered their things and began to empty the classroom. 

Sill worried about Remus, Lily watched him go with Peter, without a word to her. He would apologize tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, as he had so many times before. It was a familiar ritual of theirs. He would be clearly feeling unwell. She would offer help. He would get all dismissive and cranky and then he would apologize and everything would be back to normal. Until the next time. Merlin, it was fairly understandable behaviour for a woman in throes of the PMS, but Remus? 

Hesitantly, she approached Sirius and James. Resisting the urge to push James's glasses up his nose - they were always nestled too low - she focused on the matter at hand. 

"Sirius, James?" 

"At your service, Ma'am!" Sirius bowed gallantly. 

She ignored him. "I think Remus is worse off today than couple of times before. You should make him go for some professional help. He doesn't listen to me and I think Madam Pomfrey can't help his condition - it's getting worse." 

Two boys stood stock-still. 

"Why do you think so?" James asked cautiously. 

Did they really think she was stupid? Who were they trying to fool? Her? Or themselves? "I'm not blind," she said curtly. "If he doesn't want to listen to me - a mediwitch in training - he might listen to you. And I'm telling you he needs help." 

They both nodded after a moment of intense struggle with whatever objections they might have had in their heads. 

"We will talk to him," James promised. 

With regret at having to leave James's company, Lily turned towards he door. 

"Er, Lily?" 

"Yes, James?" 

"WhouldyouhelpmewiththepotionVodkanassigned?" 

She blinked. "I beg your pardon?" 

"Uh, the potion Vodkan assigned. Sirius took quite a shine to Amy Lynch," he shot Sirius an irritated look, "and he wants to use the project to get close to her. And you're best at Potions... at least in Gryffindor... and I, uh, might use some help... And since Sirius can't... I wondered, er, if you..." 

Her heart skipped a beat and she rushed in before he could change his mind about this strange plea. "No problem, James. I'll be glad to help." 

Feeling strangely light despite the gravity of the situation with Remus, she headed for the History of Magic. 

***

The dormitory of the seventh-years resembled a courtroom, with Remus Lupin as a defendant and Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew as prosecutors. 

"You need to tell her, Moony!" Peter insisted; the cleaning kit and his broom put aside since Sirius and James started their attack. "They're right, it can't go on like this!" 

"Oh yeah," Remus snapped, pain and guilt carved in his entire pose. Usually his friends would quickly admit their defeat in a similar situation, neither of them has ever claimed to know what hell the werewolf had to go through. They tried to help - and Remus has always said he would have trouble simply keeping his sanity without their help - but they all knew that Lily's unawareness was exceptionally big burden on Remus' shoulders. 

"What am I going to tell her," Remus continued angrily. "Hello, Lily, I can't study with you tomorrow night because I have a little transformation ahead. I'm a werewolf, you see. Want to come and watch? Just be aware I can kill you." 

"I thought I'm the sarcastic one here," Peter replied. "And this is not a matter for sarcasm!" 

"What if she figures it on her own?" James asked quietly, endeavouring to be objective. Not an easy task to achieve in his situation. "She's not stupid. She's been close to you for over a year. She's going to notice the pattern. Like Snape two years ago." 

They all winced at the memory. Whatever they thought of that greasy git, he was very observant and very smart. He had noticed fairly quickly the connection between Remus' attacks of illness and the moon cycles, but his thick Slytherin skill had rejected the simplest answer. He had all but publicly accused them of performing all kinds of Moon Rites and searching for the Fern Flower. It had ended like it had ended. 

Remus didn't answer. 

"Do you want to lose her?" Sirius asked. From the way he looked, it could be deducted that he simply itched to punch his stubborn friend in the nose. 

"Look who's talking!" Remus retorted. "The man whom she had dumped after three weeks!" 

"That was different!" 

"Sure it was." Lupin laughed mirthlessly. "You had another hundred girls waiting in line for you while I have only her!" 

Peter cleared his throat, dropping his habitual sarcasm for once. "Padfoot is right. That was different. Mainly because she was not a girl for him. She's a girl for you. Merlin, I've never known two people better matched than you and Lily!"

Remus blinked and stared hard at Peter. A slight frown crossed his forehead but then he shook his head and the frown was gone. "You think so?" 

"Of course!" Sirius cried. "Enough to look at the two of you! You like the same things, you can talk for hours! I wish there was a girl like that for me out there too!" 

"I'm not enough?" James asked weakly, fighting not to give in to the impact this conversation was having on him. Peter's and Sirius' words felt like a knife into his heart. Sirius laughed and patted James's shoulder. The atmosphere lightened a little. 

"I don't want to lose her," Remus said quietly. 'And that's the problem. I don't want to lose her. And I don't want to risk that once she knows she would leave me. She opposes against any aspect of the Dark Magic, you know." 

James sat silent. How many times did he play that scenario in his head? Remus telling Lily and Lily saying she can't be with a Dark Creature. But she wouldn't do that, not Lily. James knew her well enough to know that nothing could push Lily away from the ones she loved. That was what made him fall in love with her. And just wishing that Lily would dump Remus on account of him being a werewolf made James feel like the worst of sort of traitor. Lily made Remus happy and if there was a person who deserved to be happy, it was Remus. 

"You will have to tell her sooner or later, Moony," Sirius reasoned. "And it's better if she leaves you now than later!" 

Remus shook his head. "I want to have every second I can with her. And as for later... the longer we are together, the more difficult it would be for her to walk away... wouldn't it?" Peter whistled. "Why, my friend! This is positively Slytherin of you!" 

The others looked appalled. "Peter!" 

Peter shrugged. "So what's the deal? Are you going to tell her or not?" 

"No," Remus said firmly. "I'm not." 

***

"All right. The problem of the access to the bathrooms on the third floor solved?" Lily asked, raising her tired eyes from the parchment. "Who's for?" 

Twenty-three hands went up, with Lily's it was twenty-four. Everybody was for. One of the biweekly Saturday Prefects Meetings has been going on for over four hours already and even Snape lost all will to argue. 

"It's settled then. Next, the schedule for using the Potions lab by the seventh-years. The younger prefects are free to go."

With loud sighs of relief the sixteen students rose and bid their goodbyes. Leocadia Lowell's Dicta Quill noted the time of their departure: twenty one past eight. 

"I talked to professor Vodkan; he said it's all up to us," James announced. "So I propose the easiest way. Four Houses, four weeks in the month. We take turns, every House has one week out of the month." 

The Hufflepuffs nodded. Ravenclaws, however, looked sceptical. 

"We sometimes use the Potions lab for additional work. And for extra tutoring," said Justitian Ackerley. 

"That's right," drawled Snape, his words dripping sarcasm. "Not all of us are such geniuses in Potions as you, Potter." 

James made a heroic effort to smile beatifically at the Slytherin; it seemed to anger him more than any putdown. "How about weekends off then? Everybody would be free to use the Potions lab on weekends." 

"There are dozens younger students who need extra help in Potions," Maria Johnson protested horrified. "And almost half of the Ravenclaw House is doing extra credits in Potions! Not to mention those who take it on the N.E.W.T.s! We would be tripping on each other!" 

James had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Ravenclaws. "Perhaps a time-table in that case? Everyone interested in using the lab would have to write their name on the list?" 

"With restriction to... five people simultaneously?" Lily added. 

"No way!" Snape was livid. "I'm not going to brew potions with some five idiots hovering around me! Celestina?" He turned to the other Slytherin prefect for back-up.

The girl shrugged. "Sorry, Severus, but it sounds reasonable," she said in her musical voice. "Oh come on, Snape," James couldn't help himself. "Who would want to hover around you? They would escape to the furthest corner of the classroom, no worry." 

"James!" Lily hissed. 

He gave her an apologetic smile; he had promised to put his dislike for Snape aside in order to do his Head Boy duties well, but Snape was not making it easy. 

"Watch it, Potter," Snape threatened. 

"A time-table, then," Lily cut in. "We stay with the a-House-a-week plan and a list for the weekends?" 

"I'm for," Martin Fawcett, a Hufflepuff, agreed. 

The Ravenclaws raised their hands reluctantly. 

"I'm against," Snape said. 

Celestina Warbeck looked torn between the loyalty to her fellow Slytherin and the common sense. "I'm for," she said finally. 

A small look passed between Leocadia and Snape. "I'm against," Leocadia announced to Martin's shock. 

James stayed clam. "Six for and two against. Protest overruled. Lily and I will take care of the details. The meeting is adjourned." 

Seething, Snape was first to go. The rest followed them. 

"That didn't go too well," Lily commented. 

"It never goes well when Snape is involved," muttered James. 

"Do you want to finish this time-table case now or later?" 

"Lily," he groaned. "Do you have to talk like a Hufflepuff? It's been almost five hours for Merlin's sake! Of course later. Find some other subject to talk about, I implore you." 

She grinned, collecting her quills. "How's the _'Lord of the Rings'_ going?"

James stretched in his chair, laughing. "It's addictive! I'm halfway through the third book already! Sirius thinks I'm ill." 

"What did you think of Eowyn?" she asked eagerly, anxious about his judgement of her favourite character. 

"She would be a Gryffindor," James said. "She's so brave. She never gives up. And she doesn't let anybody to tell her what to do, she take her life in her own hands..." 

"Well, where are you exactly?" 

"Riders of Rohan arrive to help in the battle on the plains of Pelennor." 

"It's not halfway through the book, you haven't read the best yet!" Lily enthusiased. "Eowyn's my idol! Like Luthien in _'Silmarillon'_ and Galadriel in _'Unfinished Tales'_..."

"She's great. I have no idea what Aragorn was thinking not to fell in love with her right away. But he still might change his mind." 

"Oh no, Aragorn is not right for her," Lily said seriously. "She finally realizes that she doesn't really love him. That he's a man perfect to fall in love with, but love is something more." 

James watched as a flush of passion coloured her cheeks, wishing she would be that passionate talking about him. "Will you lend me those other books?" 

"Sure!" she beamed. "Remus said _'Lord of the Rings'_ is completely unreal and lacks in good characterisation - honestly! - and wasn't interested in other books by Tolkien." 

"A great mistake on his part I take it?" 

"Undoubtly." Suddenly a look of worry marred her perfect features - well, perfect for James anyway. "Speaking about Remus, did you talk to him?" 

_No,_ James thought. _I will not let my jealousy ruin this perfect evening. She's here with me, she's talking to me, sharing her interests and worries with me. I will enjoy that, it has to be enough._ "We did. He says he's fine. And, truthfully, he seems to be all right. We think you're overreacting, Lily," he added delicately at the end. 

"Maybe I am," she admitted. "If he told me what's wrong with him..." 

"Probably nothing very serious," he lied through his teeth and felt like a scum. "But men are like this. We don't like girls to think we're weak. Let him be, Lily." 

"I suppose I have no choice," she said darkly. 

"Don't think about it," James advised. "Do you want to know what Sirius, Remus and Peter played on Lestrange for his little stunt?" 

Her curiosity piqued, Lily let the matter of Remus drop. "What?" 

"They enchanted his Quidditch bat. It turned red and gold when it first hit the Bludger during the training session earlier today and it attacked Lestrange. He will probably come tomorrow on breakfast with his eyes blue and black." Satisfaction in his voice was clear. 

"You let him get off with it rather cheaply." 

"Oh, there's almost a whole year ahead, we still have time. And we've planned a new anti-Snape campaign. Starts tomorrow at dinner." 

"What? Oh please, James, I can be discreet!" 

He shook his head. "No, it's a surprise." 

"Then why did you mention it at all?" 

"So that you would have something other than Remus' illness to think about tonight," he explained quietly. 

She smiled sadly at that, "Thank you, James. Look at time," she pointed the clock in the corner of the Prefects Room. "It's half past ten." 

"Oh Merlin... we should go, I guess." 

"Looks like it." 

Was that regret in her voice? James chose to think to. They both gathered their things and left. 

***

**A/N:** Review! I need reviews and critical suggestions! I know ladies-man!Sirius is cliché, but I love this cliché, just like intellectual!Remus and studious!Lily. James, on the other hand, can't be a whore-of-Hogwarts because he _is_ a Head Boy and must have more common sense than that. 


	3. Part Three

**A/N:** Thank you all for reviews, and I'm sorry to those who haven't read _'The Lord of the Rings'._ That little reference is going to be used later in the context to the plot, so you must forgive me.  

**Bed of Roses**

**Part Three**

***

"Party!" Daisy moaned. "I want a party! I want music! I want dance! I want FUN!"

Lily and Daisy were sitting in an almost deserted common room. The weather was too nice for most to stay indoors, albeit little cold. The boys were out playing Quidditch. With the Quidditch season having started a month earlier than normal they did a lot of extra training while cursing professor Teiresias for his weather predictions. Lily was glad to have some time for herself, to read a trashy romance novel, to eat chocolate frogs and to listen to Daisy's ramblings.

"I heard that Rolly and Ange were going to throw a party for Andrew's birthday next week."

"Only for our House. And if any people from other Houses come... I cannot be expected to dance with fifth-years!"

"You're terribly prejudiced. The fifth-years can be fantastic dancers."

"I didn't mean dancing and you know it. I want the thrill of the possibility of a romance!"

"What romance has to do with age?"

Daisy rolled her eyes, bend over, took the book out of Lily's hands and closed it, looking at the back-cover.

"Charlotte de Treville, a beautiful orphan freshly out of Hogwarts but not yet eighteen is placed under the care of Adrian von Strassen, a man driven by dark passions. Will the fiery and unpredictable witch conquer the broken heart of hard and distanced Adrian, who has lost all hope for love? Or will the secrets of the past and a powerful Dark Wizard keep them apart?" Daisy read. "Again, Lily? Merlin, I would say it suits Laura or Julie, but you?"

She reached to get her book back. "Why does everybody think that a Head Girl should read only philosophy essays? I wanted some time off and read something easy and uncomplicated."

"You should go and shag that handsome boyfriend of yours instead reading this rubbish. The real experience is better than theory." She put a chocolate frog into her mouth with suggestive slowness.

"Glad to hear that," Lily muttered, "Oh the greatest of experts on the subject of sex."

"I will be an expert one day," Daisy said with conviction. "All I need is training. Which I'm not going to get at Andrew's birthday party!"

"Why not? Sirius Black is currently free." Lily prepared herself for an outburst of anger, which usually followed every mention of the name. She wasn't disappointed.

"Sirius Black?" Daisy looked offended. "Do I look stupid to you? Sirius Black... please. I may be an airhead, but I didn't lose my mind. I wouldn't last two weeks. Poor Lizzie. She has it hard for him."

Elizabeth Riley was the sixth-year Gryffidor Chaser, yearning for Sirius' attention practically since she started Hogwarts. Puppy love, her friends called it, but deep enough to keep her away from anyone else. 

"Maybe he would notice her," Lily mused. "She does look very adult with long hair."

"But she still is faster on broomstick than him and he would dump her after a month. I know you like him, Lily, but face the reality: he's a playboy. He would break Lizzie's heart."

"He's not a Casanova. He hasn't broken anybody's heart yet." Lily felt compelled to defend her friend. "His girls don't take relationships too seriously."

"Exactly. And Lizzie does. Lizzie wants love, not the position of the girlfriend of the most wanted male at Hogwarts. Otherwise she might as well fixate on James. Actually I think James would be good for her." An excited gleam entered Daisy's eyes. "Do you want to play a matchmaker?"

Smile died on Lily's lips. _No! To match Elizabeth Riley and James Potter? Never! Wait... where did this thought come from? _"Lizzie is in love with Sirius," she said coolly. 

"So what? She would change her mind, James is great. I should know, I was his girlfriend."

Lily cleared her throat. "You wouldn't be jealous?"

"No, why would I? It was long time ago and not true..." Daisy laughed. The best thing about Daisy's character was her ability to laugh at herself. "Okay, so I was hurt and mad as hell when he broke up with me." 

Yes, she was. Lily remembered Daisy's tantrums of the last year all too well, as well as having to listen to her cursing her ex and providing a shoulder to cry on.

"I thought it was something permanent," Daisy continued, "But I got over him. Not the love of my life, I suppose."

"Why did he break up?" the redhead asked bravely. Last year she didn't think Daisy would have taken that question well and Daisy has never volunteered the information. 

Daisy shrugged. "He said it was his fault and that he realized we are not best-suited to each other. But it was another girl if you ask me. That's why I was so hurt. To be replaced by someone else... urgh." She put bit the head of the chocolate frog off with a healthy dose of anger. 

"I didn't see him with anybody else."

"I don't get it either, but I could feel it. Maybe she didn't want him"

"Fat chance of that," murmured Lily under her breath.

"It could happen. Some girls don't go for all that Quidditch celebrity thing."

"Like Lizzie?"

"Right. No, wait! Ahh, Lily, you sneaky creature!"

"Don't blame me for your leaps of logic."

"My wit is getting dull," Daisy moaned. "I need to practise... I need a party!"

Lily gave up. "All right. I'll tell you a secret. But if you breathe a word, just a word, so Merlin help me, I will turn you into an ugly hag."

"My lips are sealed." Daisy snuggled closer, almost trembling with excitement. 

"There's going to be a ball on Halloween Night. James and I begged al Heads of Houses and they agreed. We've been preparing everything since the beginning of the term."

"A ball? At Halloween?" gasped Daisy. "But it's not even two weeks away! Oh yes! YES! Thank you Merlin, it's fantastic! FANTASTIC!" she shouted and began a victory dance around the common room, attracting several surprised glances.

"Will you sit down?" Lily hissed, annoyed. "We're not exactly alone here!"

"Sorry," Daisy grinned, apparently not sorry at all. 

"It will be announced this Friday," Lily said, "so that everyone has time to prepare. Don't tell a soul until then!"

"I won't, I won't.  We need to get new dress robes!"

"It's almost two weeks away!"

"Exactly! So little time! You need to get something special so that Remus' jaw hits the floor. This time I'm choosing your robes. No high necklines and long sleeves..."

With resignation Lily put the book away. When Daisy was at the helm, it was better to sit back and enjoy the ride.

***

After a long walk with Remus Lily was no closer to discovering the big secret about the anti-Snape campaign than when she went out in search of her boyfriend. He was terribly tight-lipped about the new prank. Then she gathered all her courage and asked about James and his break up with Daisy.

"It was strange," Remus admitted, as they stopped at the lake, hoping to get a glimpse of Giant Squid. "He seemed perfectly happy with her, not sky-high happy but they didn't argue or anything, they had fun. And suddenly he began to be forgetful about things, he started to daydream. It didn't last long, but it might have been another girl."

"You don't know who?"

"No. Why?"

She gulped. "Daisy wants to play matchmaker."

He laughed. "She certainly doesn't hold grudges, does she? I hope she would find someone for James."

Lily shivered at that. 

"Are you cold?" Remus started to take his cloak off. "Here, put it on."

"No, it's not necessary—"

"It's cold today. You can get ill if you're not careful." He wrapped his big cloak around her slender form.

"Thank you, Remus." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him warmly. Who would want James Potter if could have Remus Lupin? Not Lily Evans.

Or would she?

***

Daisy wasn't at the dinner. Picking at her food Lily watched the infamous quartet. They were smirking and shooting sly glances at the Slytherin table. She followed they looks, but could see nothing out of ordinary – except Lestrange's bruised face. He was eating his soup with extreme care. Avery and Rosier, their backs to Lily, were talking to each other. Opposite them Snape and Wilkes, together as usually.  

The mystery cleared when the door of the Great Hall opened and Daisy appeared with a bouquet of slightly withered flowers. She rushed to the Slytherin table.

"Severus! It's so sweet...!" She stopped at the prefect's side and looked at him shyly, pressing the flowers to her heart. "I'm touched! Had I known earlier..."

Snape's usually bland face seemed to radiate confusion. Entire Hall sniggered. "What are you talking about, Johnson?"

"Don' make such face!" the blond beauty sniffed, tears suddenly appearing on her eyelashes. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Sev!"

"Sev!" Sirius choked out into his spoonful of mashed potatoes. "Isn't she brilliant? Look at his face!"

Incredulity mixed in Snape's features with absolute fury. Anabell Wilkes looked stunned at his side.

"Love is beautiful, Sev!" Daisy continued with feeling. "Even though I don't like daisies. But that _'Daisies for Daisy'_ poem was so cute..."

Soon Daisy's voice drowned in the general outburst of hilarity. Snape's normally pale face, now the colour of the Gryffindor banner, was making the situation even funnier. Finally, having expressed her understanding at Snape's infatuation, the girl returned to the Gryffindor table, flowers still in her hand like the most precious of gifts.

"Wasn't I good?" she asked proudly as she seated herself opposite Lily, reaching for a spoon.

"Brilliant! Bloody brilliant!" howled Peter.

"And it's only a start," James said, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I'm writing a really horrible poem," Remus confessed, his arms shaking with suppressed laughter.

"We will crush him," Sirius promised.

"Is it fair?" Lily asked, trying to regain her breath. "I mean, it..." giggle, giggle, "It may break him up with Anabell."

"Who cares?" Peter shouted, raising a glass of pumpkin juice. "And even if, she should be grateful! To Daisy Johnson, the best actress in wizarding world!"

"To Daisy!" they toasted.

It was long after dinner when Lily and the four Gryffindor boys were the only ones left in the Great Hall, the boys describing how they had talked Daisy into their prank. 

"She thought I wanted to ask her out! Honestly!" Sirius exclaimed.

"And she said no, so you had to bestow your Gryffindor sense of humour upon my humble person?"

Lily looked up. They were so involved in their conversation that they failed to notice Snape. Silent as snake he stood behind Peter and Sirius, who immediately rose to their feet.

"Snape! What do you want?"

"You have three guesses," Snape sneered.

"We have no idea!" Peter said, picture of innocence.

"You probably think it was very funny."

"Yes, actually we do," James sniggered. "We didn't know you're such a Don Juan."

"I told you to watch it, Potter."

"Or what?" Remus challenged.

"Lupin, you're the last person who should be asking that question," the Slytherin prefect retorted huskily.

"Are you threatening me, Snape?" Remus asked, getting up slowly.

"Salazar forbid," Snape flashed him a nasty smile. "You probably still cannot hold up a wand. You shouldn't get upset, in your condition..."

Lily had enough. Nobody was going to tease Remus because of his health!

"Shut up, Snape," she snapped.

"Evans... sitting so close to the beast... aren't you afraid?" Snape's tone was one of polite curiosity, with just a hint of menace underneath.

"Why should I? He's not a leper! Just because he's a little ill doesn't mean he wouldn't hex you into next week!"

The boys paled.

"Lily—"

"Snape—"

"Little ill...? You don't know?" Snape asked, astonishment and glee mixed in his tone.

"Know what?"

"SHUT UP!" James, Sirius and Peter yelled.

Snape ignored them. "Your lover boy's delicate condition. And I thought you're such a smart girl, Evans. So good at Astronomy and DADA..."

"Snape, please!" Remus said pleadingly.

"And that Lupin didn't have the gall to tell you. Where's your Gryffindor courage, Lupin? Tsk, tsk. Keeping your little secret from your girlfriend. Figures. Gryffidor love. Roses outside, dirt inside..." The sight of three wands stopped him from talking any longer. "But don't let it stand between you." Not daring to infuriate his opponents any further, he walked away.

Lily tried to collect her thoughts as Snape's back disappeared behind the door of the Great Hall. "What was he talking about, Remus?"

There was no answer. 

Sirius sighed. "Tell her, Moony."

"Tell me what?" She shifted on the bench so that her arm was touching Remus. "Look at me."

He didn't. He kept staring at his lap, his hands trembling.

"Or I will go after Snape!"

"Lily, don't..."

"Shut up, James. Remus?"

His facial muscles twitched. "Lily, I..."

A moment of silence and she felt a wave of panic. What was going on? "Yes?"

He raised his head, looking straight into her eyes, a solitary tear rolling down his cheek.

"I... I am a werewolf, Lily."

The world came to a halt.

"I beg your pardon?" she whispered.

"A werewolf," soft, gentle voice, suddenly so eerily dispassionate. "I'm a werewolf."

Solemn looks from Remus' friends confirmed that this was no joke.

***

**A/N: **Please, please review the chapter. I want your opinions on the way the characters are turning out. It is my first attempt to write the Marauders, so I'm practically in the dark here.


	4. Part Four

**A/N:** Thank you for reviews! Reviews is what makes my day, so don't be shy! The titles by Tolkien from chapter 2 are not made up. Tolkien did write them, and they can be probably found in the nearest library or a bookstore.

**Bed of Roses**

**Part Four**

***

A werewolf. Her boyfriend was a werewolf. He has told James. He has told Sirius. He has told Peter. Even Severus Snape was in.

He didn't tell _her._

What did the fact make her? Untrustworthy? Not important enough?

_"Too important, Lily," was a quiet explanation. "I was afraid you would turn away from me." "You weren't afraid to tell your friends."_

"They didn't give me much choice."

"So you have preferred to watch me constantly worry about you."

"I wanted to tell you every time, but..."

"You thought I would dump you on spot."

"Yeah."

"This is what you think of me, Remus? That I would leave a man I love because he's not perfect any longer? Who do you think I am?"

"No, I didn't..."

"Yes, you did. You don't have much faith me, do you?"

"I don't have much faith in people in general." Tears. "Please understand, Lily. The fear... it's my oldest companion. I was afraid to tell you. Afraid of the consequences. Even now I'm afraid. Afraid of what happens if you stay with me. I'm a dangerous beast."

"You haven't killed anybody."

"Yet."

"You wouldn't."

"I was very close once. Very close. I'm a Dark Creature, Lily."

Torment behind the tears. Torment and fear.

She embraced him tenderly, her hear wrenching with sympathy. "Remus, oh Remus..."

Lily tossed in her bed. 

His lack of faith still hurt. She thought they trusted each other implicitly. Now it seemed that he thought her less trustworthy than his dorm mates, thought her a lesser person than his male friends. It hurt. It hurt like hell, but he still needed her. Why was he so stupid? Why didn't he believe her love?

A face flashed through her mind. Laughing blue eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses. James Potter. Lily cringed in guilt. Remus didn't know about that. And she loved him. Of course she wouldn't leave him, what a silly fear of his...

***

"I don't think it's a good idea," Lily said, barely able to speak when she saw her own reflection in the mirror. "I'm not going dressed like this!"

Daisy, a resident fashion specialist in the Gryffindor Tower, clasped her hands. "What exactly is wrong with it?" she demanded.

Lily turned around helplessly. "Lizzie? Help?"

The petite brunette was still recovering from shock she experienced when the robe destined for her was revealed. "No, no, no, no..."

"Lizzie?" Daisy snapped. "What now?"

"I won't put it on!" Lizzie said mutinously. 

Daisy looked heavenwards. "Merlin and all the powers of the universe, give me patience! You asked me for something extraordinary! Something everybody would notice! Something Sirius Black would notice!"

"But, but..."

The robe in question was indeed outstanding. Made of crimson velvet that set out Lizzie's Mediterranean complexion magnificently, with almost waist-high slits at the sides and skin-tight top without any stripes, it was truly an impressive piece of clothing.

"But what?"

"I'm going to look like a harlot!"

"No," Lily injected. "I'm going to look like a harlot."

Lily's dress was even bolder, if such thing was even possible. Cleverly cut triangles of gold and green silk were something out of Muggle fashion magazine, and guaranteed to give the older members of staff a heart attack.

"Harlots always look best," was Daisy's confident answer.

"I'm a Head Girl!" Lily erupted. "I cannot look like a harlot!"

"Bollocks," muttered Daisy. "Wait and see how Remus reacts. This dress is extremely easy to take off, you know. Just pull this string here and it all..."

That was the last thing Lily was prepared to hear. 

"That's it," she said coldly. "I have no intention to lose my virtue just because you fancy to hear some juicy details. And what more important, I'm not going to lose my reputation and my position so that you could claim the title of the best seamstress at Hogwarts!"

Daisy stood still, staring at her best friend with heart-cutting hurt in her eyes. "Of course, Lily. Do as you please. Who am I do give advice to the mighty, all knowing Head Girl."

She took her leave without a second look at the redhead. Lily slumped onto her bed and looked at Lizzie helplessly.

"I didn't mean it like that."

Lizzie shook her head, her hands caressing the red velvet. "What's wrong with you, Lily? You haven't been yourself all week. Has something happened?"

_Nothing happened. I just found out that my boyfriend is a werewolf - an everybody's secret but mine it seems - and I have to act as though everything was all right. I have to talk to all those younger prefects, all encountering some kind of difficulties and expecting me to right their wrongs. And do it with a smile on my face even though all I can think of is the date of the next full moon and the fear that somebody else finds out and Remus will be expelled. No, nothing happened._

"No, everything is fine," she replied. "I'm tired, that's all. Not the best condition to be in while facing Daisy's excesses."

The younger girl sighed. "You're right... but... do you think Sirius would like this robe?" she looked at Lily hopefully.

Lily forced the gloomy thoughts out of her mind. Clothes. She should focus on clothes and on her duties. She should not think of the... betrayal.

"It certainly is different from anything I saw you in," she said. "I'm pretty sure you would look completely different from your normal self. And everybody would see that."

She looked at her own slip of a dress. One thing was sure; she couldn't afford to show herself in it, although she could have broken that news to Daisy in a nicer way. She would have to go to her now, apologize and beg for helping her in turning this thing into something presentable. Oh well, she might as well start training humility now, she thought as she raised from her bed and followed Lizzie in search for Daisy.

***

Since the day the news about the ball has been announced, the Halloween Night has been the talk of all common rooms as well as all dormitories. Yes, the boy dormitories also. The speculations about who with whom and why not with him/her were the most pressing subjects, especially among the older students. The ones who had their better halves were indeed lucky, for the necessity of acquiring a companion to the ball was not an easily satisfied one. At least for James Potter.

"Julie Anderson still has no partner, Amanda Hatchkinson from Hufflepuff, Justine Ackerley, fifth-year Ravenclaw..." Peter, having already solved the problem by asking out Laura Bones, ticked off the names. "Olivia Wood, Daisy... aren't you going to ask Daisy?"

Sirius grinned triumphantly. "No, he's not. She's going with me."

Peter stared at him, mouth agape. "Since when?"

"Since today."

"I thought you had your eye on Amy Lynch."

"I changed my mind. I didn't ask her. And no," Sirius said before Peter had chance to ask, "I didn't ask Daisy either. She asked me."

James gave up trying to make the decision. He never had any trouble with picking girls, but this time... well, this time he didn't want to pick one. There was only one he could imagine at his side and she has already been taken. Instead, he shifted his attention to Sirius' smug statement.

"I thought she hated you."

"I'm irresistible. I conquer hearts without realising that. The hostility she displayed was in fact deeply concealed undying love for me," Sirius stated. "I'm everything a girl can wish for and can't deny Daisy the privilege of trying me out and-"

Remus, up till that moment happily reading a book, not concerned with the problem of finding partners for the ball since he already had one, looked up with a frown. 

"This attitude will land you in trouble, Sirius. Grow up."

Privately, James shared Remus' opinion. But then who he was to talk, when he dreamed of betraying his best friend. 

To everybody's surprise, Sirius took offence. "Sorry, your faithfulness," he sneered at Remus, referring to him having had only one girlfriend. "Please do tell me how I should run my life; perhaps getting a girl and keeping her in the dark about my very personality would be a sufficient proof of maturity."

Remus paled. James didn't know the exact result of Snape's little taunting exercise; he only knew that Remus and Lily were still together, to his deeply concealed disappointment. Although in truth he didn't really expect anything else. But something _must_ have changed.

"Thank you for pointing out my mistakes," Remus said darkly. "I'm most grateful." 

Taking his book with him, Remus stormed out of the room. Presumably to the library, his favourite hiding place.

"I don't think it was necessary," James commented cautiously in Sirius' direction.

Sirius' mouth tightened into a thin line. "You think it wasn't necessary? Well, James, while you are safely away in your very own Head Boy's room, you don't have to endure Remus' comments on how you're not treating people the way they deserve, how you should think seriously about relationships, how immature it is to jump from one girl to another... He doesn't say it, but he throws his relationship with Lily at my face and all but tells me I should follow his footsteps!"

James furrowed his eyebrows. Where did that come from? Never before was Sirius that bitter. And suggesting that he was too high and mighty to notice his friends being less affectionate to each other... well, there was nothing to notice before! Or was he simply too wrapped up in his misery concerning Lily?

"Sirius, what are you talking about?"

"Remus, I'm talking about Remus! Damn, I'm glad that he's happy, but he doesn't have to enforce such bliss on me!"

"Aren't you exaggerating?" Peter asked tentatively.

"He's concerned about you," James said, still a little dazed by the tension and negative emotions radiating from Sirius. 

Sirius didn't answer. He seated himself in an armchair vacated by Remus several minutes ago and drummed his fingers against the armrest. "He doesn't have to. I'm doing just fine. He can be concerned about you, James, since you seem to be girlless too."

James enforced an artificial smile on his lips. The last thing he needed was Remus concerning himself with his love life. He wished he could tell it all to Sirius. But confiding in Sirius was almost as bad as confiding in Remus. Despite all anger, Sirius was closer to Remus than to him. It was always like that. James and Sirius were birds of the feather, understood each other well and almost without words, their personalities similar, James being the more level-headed one. James stood in the middle between Remus' serious nature and Sirius violent one. But Sirius and Remus were closely bonded because of their differences. They complimented each other in a way James could only be envious of.

Suddenly he felt alone, among his arguing friends. The only person, who he suspected could ease this loneliness, was out of reach for him. Completely out of reach.

He turned to Peter. "So you say Julie Andrews is still free?"

***

"He asked me, he asked me!" Julie beamed at Lily as though Lily was responsible for the happy news.

"Who?" Lily asked confused, looking up from the plan of the sitting arrangement for the Halloween ball.

"James! I'm his partner for the ball!"

Lily clenched her fingers on the quill. "Oh?"

"Today! And I thought I would have to go with Morgan, from fifth year! Can you imagine that? James Potter! Wait till I tell Laura and Bethany!"

Lily didn't say anything - just keeping smiling was hard enough. If she tried to speak, her face might crack.

"And my new dress-robes! I'm so glad I bought them, I will be dancing with the Head Boy, everybody is going to look at us..."

Lily suddenly noticed how pretty Julie was, with her creamy complexion, rich brown hair and large blue eyes. Her own pert nose and freckles couldn't even compare.

"We're going to be the best looking couple..."

_Not true,_ Lily thought rebelliously. _Sirius and Daisy would take the prize. Then Lewis Lestrange and Leocadia Lowell. Then Teo Maxwell and Lizzie._ Then,_ perhaps, you and James._

"Do you think he could do something with his glasses?"

Lily blinked. "Why?"

"They don't look well on pictures... do you think he could use Oculus Charm for a while?"

The quill in Lily's hand snapped in two. 

"Oh, Lily, you broke your quill! Be careful, or you won't be able to wash the ink off. Do you need a tissue?"

"No, thank you, I'll manage," Lily muttered, glad to have an excuse to wave Julie off. Using the cleaning charm, she quickly disposed of the dangerous ink.

To think Julie wanted James to get rid of his glasses! To Lily, the glasses were such an integral part of James that the possibility seemed almost blasphemous. What was wrong with glasses anyway? Looked bad on the pictures? Who cared? They were a mark of the personality and the pictures should capture that, not only looks. Didn't Julie know that?

And what did James see in her? Nice eyes? Big breasts? The ability to talk for hours without actually telling anything? What? He could have at least asked somebody with brains!

"Lily? If you keep charming that table, you'll make a hole," Lizzie remarked.

Lily stopped repeating the charm. "Sorry, I... was thinking."

"Of something happy, I hope."

"The ball."

"Happy then. You and Remus, no worry, it will be great."

"Yeah," Lily whispered to herself. "Remus and I. Of course, no worry."

***

Having managed to apologize Daisy and convince her to help her with a new version of a dress, Lily wondered about her motivations. They were unclear at best. Remus has never been one to judge anybody by looks. He never commented on her clothes or hairstyles, was happy with her as she was. Where this new interest in fashion sprang?

_I don't want to be boring. I want something new. I want to be noticed._

She wasn't ready to go to the drastic measures, like Lizzie, but her new look would certainly be noticed. The thought was not as unpleasant as she thought it might be.

Walking down the stairway from her room, she held up the voluminous skirt of the dress so that she wouldn't trip on it. Walking in high-heeled shoes was a skill she hasn't mastered yet. Remus waited at her in the common room, as well as James and Julie. As Head Boy and a Head Girl Lily and James were required to make an appearance earlier than the rest of students.

"Ready?" Remus asked distractedly. He's never been keen on social occasions.

His reaction was, frankly, disappointing. Back at her room she had thought she looked extremely well, no false modesty. The medieval-style dress hugged her form tightly from chest to hips; the wide skirt softly flowed to her feet. Wide, long sleeves flew gracefully with every movement of her hand. Green silk with golden imprint complimented her eyes and set off her hair in most appealing manner. Even her freckles seemed less visible than normal.

"Yes, ready," she replied, taking note on how well Julie's violet robe looked with her dark blue eyes. Did she really think she could match with the beauties of this year?

"Lily, you look amazing," she heard the quiet compliment.

Her head snapped at James's direction. Craving for Remus' approval first and then comparing herself with Julie, she didn't catch his awed expression earlier. Admiration was so clear on his face that Lily's throat went dry.

_He noticed._

Strange, but she didn't blush as she normally would upon hearing such a compliment. Her heart pounded so hard that it must have drained the excess of blood from her face... thanks Merlin. Getting all excited at James's words would not be the best idea.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Shall we go?" Remus asked patiently, looking down at her with slightly patronizing air as if wanting to sigh: _Girls!_

Was he blind? Didn't he see how important it was to her? With a little wave of shame Lily had to admit that it was probably her own fault that he didn't. She hasn't told him about it, how would he know? Although she could talk to Remus about anything, her new fixation on her looks was something she was reluctant to admit to. 

She accepted Remus' arm and they went to the Great Hall.

***

All Head Girl duties behind her, Lily let herself relax. Her new, bolder image was observed and commented on. It was mostly: _"You look well, Lily, did you do something with you hair?"_ Or: _"Great dress Lily, where did you get it?"_ Nothing spectacular, but it made her feel divine. The attention she received, not only because of her Head Girl status, convinced her she wasn't actually that boring. She might be even worthy of...

No, better not to go there. But the continuing appreciative look on James's face made her feel both uncomfortable and ecstatic. Her mood was so good that it turned out to be contagious. Remus laughed and danced with her, and even paid her a compliment, which affected her deeply. Lately he seemed to be constantly depressed, ever since his confession. She noticed a difference in his attitude towards Sirius over last couple of days and the haunted look that never seemed to leave his eyes. He was battling with something and, again, she felt left out of the loop. Something was going on in his head, something vital.

But she was not going to dwell on it. She was going to have fun. Like Daisy.

Well, Daisy and Sirius were something to look at. It was almost hard to believe, but Sirius' dark-purple robes and Daisy's orange ones did _not_ clash. Somehow Daisy managed to pick the right shade, matching both her skin and her partner's outfit. Their bantering, lined with a large dose of malice, seemed to steer most of people away from them, to Sirius' deepest chagrin.

It was so until Lizzie showed up, with her sixth-year friend Teo. There was no denying it: Lizzie was the revelation of the night, far beyond Lily. Dressed in the robe that outshone even the extravaganza of Slytherin girls, she attracted male gazes like a magnet. And she clearly didn't feel comfortable with it, her lips trembling and her eyes nervous.

As soon as Evan Rosier turned his unwelcome attention to the fellow Quidditch player, Sirius, like a knight in shining armour, arrived to the rescue, flippantly abandoning Daisy in the middle of the dance.

Daisy walked up o Lily who stood alone, Remus having left to fetch drinks, with expression of smug satisfaction on her face.

"All right, what are you up to?" Lily asked, watching Sirius talking to Lizzie. 

"He's a git, Lily," Daisy announced grimly. "I must have been mad to come with him."

"Why did you then?"

"My heart is too soft. I decided to sacrifice myself on the altar of greater good."

Lily didn't get it. "Meaning?"

"Although he's a git, he is a git with some odd sense of honour. He wouldn't leave his partner to take care of some other girl. But I'm a bitch who makes his time miserable. With no remorse whatsoever he can go and play the saviour to out dear little Lizzie."

Lily was astonished. "I thought you deemed him wrong for Lizzie!"

Daisy was unperturbed. "As I said, he's a git. A git whom every half-brained girl should dismiss without a blink of an eye."

"I beg your pardon?" Lily coughed.

"No offence to you, Lily," Daisy declared hastily, "You're not after him. Lizzie is not half-brained either, and after tonight she's going to come to her senses. She will see him for what-"

"That's your clever plan?!" Lily exclaimed.

"Er, yes?" Daisy said, a little put off by her friend's disbelief. "Don't you think it's good?"

Lily emitted an undignified snort. "A Soul Healer material you are not. She's going to fall for him even harder! He's her saviour tonight for Merlin's sake, he scared off Rosier-"

"And everybody else-"

"Showers her with compliments-"

"Monopolizes her time-"

"And she loves it!"

Daisy made some quick thinking. And covered face with her hands. "Oh Founders, what have I done?"

"Well, this is why the Sorting Hat didn't put you into Slytherin," Lily comforted her friend. "Manipulation's not your strong suit."

"Who's manipulating whom?"

They both spun around to see Remus. He handed Lily a glass of butterbeer. 

Daisy shook her head desperately. "Remus, do you want to do a good deed of the century?"

He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Dance with me. Let me forget all about that little fiasco."

Not really understanding, Remus complied and they mixed with the colourful crowd. Lily's eyes slid over them in search for another figure in navy-blue robes. She watched as the students danced and experienced a fierce pride of a job well done. This ball was her doing. Her and James's. She saw him dancing with Julie again and a wave of some unidentified emotion ripped through her like a whip. She turned her eyes away.

Everybody seemed to have a good time. She saw a group of Hufflepuffs conversing excitedly with the Glamourers - a top music band in the WWN chart. James was the one to get them to perform at Hogwarts, using his family's influence. Then she saw the Slytherin seventh-years, gesturing animatedly and laughing over something like madmen. To surprise of some people, Lily included, Anabell Wilkes - short, black-haired girl dressed in green-and-silver Chinese-style robe - came with Evan Rosier rather than with Snape, who had Celestina Warbeck by his side. _"Slytherin politics probably,"_ commented Peter when she talked to him, _"Prefects showing up with each other."_ Lily hoped it was the case and not the effect of Daisy's prank from almost two weeks ago. Vindictive Snape was the most bothersome thing to deal with. Leocadia Lowell, in a maroon outfit that revealed more than covered, blatantly ignored members of her own House and was spending all her time with Lestrange.

Wincing with dislike at the thought of Lestrange, Lily once again began to scan the crowd for James, his tall figure impossible to pass up. He was nowhere to be seen.

"May I have this dance?" she heard suddenly.

Turning to her right she saw the person she was looking for, his hand outstretched in her direction. Hesitantly, she put her hand in his, accepting the invitation. They drifted to the dance floor, soft tones of music ringing gently in her ears.

She had danced with boys before, on several occasions. With Remus, with her Muggle acquaintances over the holidays, with school friends, Sirius being probably the best dancer of them all. She had danced with James too. 

But never like this.

Never before did she want to drown in his strong embrace, regardless of what others might see. Never before they moved in such a perfect harmony together. Never before the hand on the small of her back burned with delicious fire. Never before she tried to run her fingers through the hair on his nape. Never before the whole world disappeared and only the slow tones of a song remained, guiding her steps. Never before she got lost in the blue eyes boring into her with the utmost intensity. Never before she longed for the song never to end.

Unfortunately, it did.

"Well, James, may I have my lady back?"

It was Remus, standing beside them, neither of them having noticed the company. Quickly, they let each other go and Lily nodded to James a thank you, not quite able to speak. She only hoped James didn't notice the impression the dance had on her. Smiling, she let Remus sweep her off for another dance, a more lively one this time.

With regret and rising fear, she realized Remus never had that effect on her. A touch of James's hand was more electrifying than Remus' kiss.

_But I love Remus! I love Remus!_

The declaration was somewhat enforced, even to her own mind.

***

**A/N:** How about this chapter? I hope I didn't make the romance unfold too rapidly... Did you like it? No? You didn't?! WHY?


	5. Part Five

**

Bed of Roses

** **

Part Five

**

***

One would think that the success of the Halloween ball would make Lily happy and confident. Since she has always somewhat lacked in confidence, the change about the latter was notable. She didn't hesitate using her Head Girl status anymore, detecting points turned out less terrible than she might have suspected, putting disobedient third-years in their places became easier, thus making her professional life a great deal less stressful. About the 'happy' part, however...

Sitting in the library with Remus, doing homework together, comparing notes and exchanging news about what their parents wrote in the newest letters, Lily could almost believe she was happy. It was what she always wanted. Peace and understanding. Little comments about Remus being a werewolf ceased to be unsettling and became part of an everyday reality. He was reluctant to talk about it, but he didn't evade her questions. It was almost like _before._

Almost. Because now she tried to avoid James at all cost, always making up excuses not to accompany the boys in the common room. She was only partially successful, for a Head Girl could not exactly avoid a Head Boy. And, as strange as it seemed, she couldn't help but enjoy their literary discussions. 

"I don't get it," sighed Remus, flipping through the pages of _'Concoctions of the Old'._ "Why the leaves of calla can't be used in the Magnifying Potion? It's so closely related to zantedeschia that there should be no problem."

Lily peered into his notes. "Asleep at the Herbology class, weren't you? Calla is toxic," she explained. As an apprentice of Madam Pomfrey, she knew more than most of students about the dangerous plants that could be found around Hogwarts. Calla was one of them, and had caused minor inconveniences once or twice.

"Thanks," Remus murmured. "I hope James won't give you hard time on that tutoring sessions of yours. This stuff is a nightmare." 

She almost grimaced. Ever since the Halloween ball, she dreaded the upcoming tutoring sessions. "Well, yeah... don't you think he would manage on his own? I have so much work lately, and with helping Madam Pomfrey twice a week..."

Remus' head shot up from over the textbook. "You're not trying to back out, are you?"

"Actually..."

"Lily, you can't! James's grades are slipping lately in everything but transfiguration, we have no idea what's wrong with him, you've got to help him! He can't exactly ask Snape for tutoring!"

"No, I suppose he can't."

"Please, do it Lily... You can hand over to me some of your Head Girl stuff. I'll help what I can. Not girl-counselling thing," he warned hastily, "but all the paperwork..."

She shook her head, amused. "James usually takes care of that," she said. "All right, I'll help him. I guess I owe him, for all that paperwork," she teased. 

If only she could keep up the pretence of light heartedness. She had to, for Remus' sake. It never ceased to amaze her how strong the bonds between Remus and his friends were, especially with Sirius and James. She supposed that dangerous secrets bonded people together closer than normal. 

"I finished," she said, closing the books. Two of them were marked as the Restricted Section. "I'll give the books back before Madam Bibliotheca starts scowling at me."

She placed herself at the end of the short queue to Madam Bibliotheca with the restricted books. Laying the heavy books on he long counter, she glanced what the student before her intended to return. Somehow, the books people read were the key to their personalities. It was hard to judge so here, at the Hogwarts library where the students borrowed mostly textbooks, but Lily has never abandoned her habit. The book the girl before her has laid on the counter had the title _'Wizarding Marriage: Rituals and Practice, Law and History'._ Stifling a snort she looked at the girl. 

Anabell Wilkes. Figures. Did the Slytherin girls think about anything else but social climbing and suitable marriages? Even the ones who were intent on making the career on their own.

Lily's curiosity, however, was piqued. Although she has spent over six years in wizarding world, some things were as much mystery to her as on her first day on the Hogwarts Express. Like wizarding marriage rituals. When Wilkes turned in the book, Lily picked it up and signed it out. 

Oddly enough, she didn't wonder what would Remus say about it. She wondered if James would laugh.

***

Lily was not a spectacular Transfiguration student like James Potter who could literally turn you into a toad (as he had demonstrated last year on Evan Rosier, which cost Gryffindor hundred points), but she was good enough to enjoy the class without any stress. The fact that they shared the period with Slytherins was not a factor this time for professor McGonagall never allowed them any antics they loved to demonstrate to their rivals. Every snicker was severely frowned upon and every derogatory comment was punished by the deduction of points. Sometimes Gryffindor students got an impression that they could be a little lax in their approach to the discipline, but the mistake was usually quickly corrected. Every now and then, however, somebody had to test it. 

It was James's turn this time.

The class has been learning how to transfigure liquids into solid matter. Contrary to the popular belief, it was not changing animals into objects or vice-versa that was really difficult. The difficult thing was to transfigure water into anything. No wonder Jesus Christ was considered the greatest wizard of ancient times. His little miracle with water and wine alone would have earned him a place in history. 

Lily has been trying to get _anything_ out of the pumpkin juice filling the cup in front of her and failing in succeeding for over an hour. To her consolation, so has everybody else except James who was sitting with a bored expression on his face. Wait... bored?

Rubbing the wrist that has been aching from furious wand waving, Lily looked around. And burst out laughing. 

Severus Snape, with totally puzzled look in his eyes, was staring at his own cup in utter disbelief. It was filled with dozens of small, pink flowers. Daisies.

"Oh Severus!" Daisy squealed somewhere behind Lily. "You were thinking of me! How cute!"

Everybody sniggered, even some Slytherins. Snape looked appalled and was opening his mouth to protest when McGonagall approached to examine the flowers, scowling at the giggling students along the way.

"Very good, Mr Snape. Twenty points to Slytherin."

The torn look on Snape's face was priceless. If he admitted that he was not the one to transfigure the flowers, he would lose the points. If he let the matter drop at this point, the rumour about his infatuation would be confirmed and James could not be accused. Slytherin ambition won over the pride, this time. Snape smiled pleasantly, or at least as pleasantly as his sinister-looking face allowed.

"I was inspired," he explained, nodding to Daisy. 

"Well, I heard love enhances magical abilities..." James muttered and the class sniggered again, reminded of Snape's less than stellar performances in Transfiguration. He might have been best at Potions and excellent in duelling, but Transfiguration expert he was not, strange accidents aplenty ever the years.

The rest of the lesson passed uneventfully; the only other person who managed to do the transfiguration assigned being Sirius. After most of the students left, Lily and James went to talk to the Head of House for a moment. Sirius, Peter and Remus stayed too, waiting for them.

When Lily and James returned from McGonagall's office Remus could not withhold a grin.

"James, that was brilliant!"

"Brilliant?" Peter said with sour look on his face. "You gave Slytherin twenty points, what were you thinking?"

"No, no," Sirius interjected. "Don't listen to him. It _was_ brilliant. Well worthy some twenty points!"

"I wouldn't be sorry even if McGonagall gave him hundred!" Remus laughed. "Operation Cupid is going to be so much believable now!"

"Operation Cupid?" Lily inquired.

"Yep," Sirius confirmed. "That's what we dubbed the anti-Snape campaign."

"You're heading for a disaster with this one," she warned them. Snape was never known for the tolerance for the pranks the Gryffindors pulled on him. Particularly the ones that wounded his pride.

"Well spotted, Evans," came from the doorway.

It was established long time ago that Snape must be using some kind of a silencing charm on his shoes, for he was the single most talented in sneaking-up individuals the five Gryffindors have ever encountered. 

"Daisy is not here," James informed him.

"Oh really? It breaks my heart," Snape responded coldly staring hard at him. "I told you to watch it, Potter. One more trick like this and you will regret it. Really regret it."

"You don't have anything against me, Snape. No proof, nothing."

Sirius nodded, a strangely grim smile twisting his handsome features. "But you are in his debt. It's a life-debt, Snape, don't forget it."

Snape's expression changed from cold to freezing. "A life debt doesn't mean I can't make him suffer. It doesn't mean I must love him."

"What a shame," Peter remarked. "As we had chance to see today, you inspire love. Daisy is absolutely smitten with your courtship."

Snape's eyes flashed furiously. "I learned from the best," he snapped viciously. "From the Golden-Quidditch-Boy James Potter who's constantly chased by idiot fan girls, from the Whore-of-Hogwarts Sirius Black who runs around trying to get laid but never succeeds, from I'm-trying-to-be-like-them-but-I'm-just-a-pale-copy Pettigrew no girl ever notices and from a werewolf!" 

He turned to look at Lily, standing quiet and shocked. "How's Evans coping?" he added with cold interest.

Surprisingly, Lily didn't gat angry, even though she had already experienced the outcome of Snape's verbal cruelty. There was nothing else he could say to make Remus' situation worse.

"It's called love, Snape," she stated calmly. "I love Remus. It doesn't matter that he's a werewolf."

Snape watched her for a moment as if she was some curious specimen of exotic insect. 

"You love Remus!" his tone a mimicry of hers. "Wake up, Evans, it's a bullshit. You don't love Lupin any more than I do." Then he reconsidered his statement. "No, sorry, it was probably an exaggeration. But if you and Lupin are in love, then I'm a Founder."

How did he dare. How did he dare...!"What do you know about love, Snape?" she challenged hotly.

She didn't quite understand his reaction, but she must have hit a sensitive spot. His black eyes zeroed on her green ones, and she thought she saw a trace of some strange emotion there. "You'd be surprised, Evans."

She cleared her throat. Why wasn't Remus saying anything? Why was he standing frozen? Why did Sirius and James watch her and Snape like on a ping-pong match? "I love Remus and he loves me, and no one-" 

The snort cut her declaration short. "I love him and he loves me... how Gryffindor. Lupin doesn't love you. I've seen more passion between Pettigrew and the flobberworm."

It hit the nerve. Lily clenched her fists. Suddenly convincing Snape, a hopeless task, started to be important. If she could convince him, she could also convince herself... "Love is not all about passion. Love is about common interests, about common values, about understanding, about trust-"

"Trust? What trust did he show you, Lily Evans, until _I_ forced him? If what you're telling is true, Lupin should marry Black. At least _there_ is some passion."

Stunned, Lily couldn't say anything. But... Remus did trust more Sirius than her... _Remus? Say something! Tell him he's wrong!_ She pleaded in her heart. But neither of them moved, holding their breaths. Why, she couldn't fathom. Only Peter seemed as puzzled as her.

"Keep that Rochester girl away from me," Snape continued in his usual threatening mode (didn't he ever get tired of it?) and swirled around, walking towards the dungeons and leaving them in strange silence.

"Remus? Why didn't you say anything?" she questioned. "It not like you to let Snape insult you! And it's not like you," she looked at Sirius and James, "to just stand there and let Snape insult Remus!"

Remus quiet voice startled her. "He's right."

Lily stopped cold dead. "Right about what?"

"About us... about me." Remus was staring at the wand in his hands absently. "About the passion. It's not love."

Sirius and James watched him as if hypnotized, Peter with disbelief.

"What are you saying, Remus?" she whispered.

"I don't love you, Lily." He finally looked up. His eyes were sad, so sad.

"I don't understand." Her voice was barely audible as she searched him for explanation.

"I mean, I do love you... but not that way. Not the way I should. Not the way I declared."

She shook her head in incomprehension.

He sighed. "Look around us. Sirius, in love every other week."

It was Sirius' turn to fervently shake his head. 

"James, since our third year up until last year, always with a girlfriend. Peter looking around for someone suitable. Pairs, pairs everywhere. Everybody talks about it, everyone is excited about it... falling in love when you're fifteen or sixteen, it's normal. Normal." He paused, thinking. "I'm not normal, Lily. Every month I turn into a beast and howl to the moon. I'm afraid of myself. I'm afraid of people. I'm not normal... but being with you gave me impression that I was. I could think that, even though a werewolf, I was just another teenager, having a girlfriend, in love. You gave me an impression of normalcy." 

Short pause again, when he switched his gaze to Sirius, then to Peter and James, that back to Lily.

"But it's not love."

Could silence be loud? It probably could when the foundations of one's world trembled. Lily closed her eyes. _ He didn't love her? He only thought he was in love with her because it would be _normal_ to fall in love with her? NORMAL?_

"I'm sorry, Lily," Remus' body shook with emotion. "I... I'm sorry."

Was he looking for forgiveness? He watched her for several seconds, but when all he got was a blank face, he turned around and begun to walk away.

"Lily?"

She looked at James. "Yes?"

"Are you..." the question remained unfinished. Good, it was a stupid question.

"I will go to Remus," Sirius announced and dashed out. After short consideration Peter did the same. She waited for James to go after his friends too.

He didn't. Strong arm circled her body, pressing her close. In other circumstances, she might have been reminded of their dance.

"Cry, Lily... it's all right to cry..."

Heavy tears fell from her eyes as she let herself be embraced as sobs wracked her slender form, James's hands stroking her hair gently. She cried for... for...

For what might have been? What should have been? Or for what never was and ever was meant?

***

**A/N:** First of all, forgive me the reference to Jesus Christ. Jesus being a wizard is a blatant rip-off and a tribute to "Slytherin Rising" by JL Matthews (what da ya mean: ya didn' read that? *faints from shock* Go read it NOW!) I didn't mean to insult anybody, or suggest Jesus' miracles were anything but miracles. I just couldn't resist making the reference, the changing water into wine seemed too good an idea to pass up

Well, that was the break up. How did I manage? Teary enough? Not teary enough? Too little dramatics? Boring? The right way> The wrong way? I didn't want to break Remus' heart completely... Lily's free, has James's shoulder to cry on... will she EVER get over her first relationship? ...okay, so I overdid here with this last question... :)

And a strange notion entered my head as I was writing this chapter... how do you fellow Lily/James fans feel about... er... slash? The non-explicit type?


	6. Part Six

**A/N:** I'm so happy readers liked the break-up scene! Thank you for reviews! They made my day. I'm very sorry for keeping you waiting for this chapter, but I suffered a short writer's block. I'm a natural dark-fic writer and romance doesn't come easily to me. 

**Spoiler Alert:** There is another spoiler for _The Lord of the Rings._ Proceed with caution. By the way, the spoiler adheres to the book version, there is a slight difference between the book and the movie in the matter discussed here, as far as I know at least (I haven't seen the movie yet... damn producers are keeping most of the world waiting). Those who are familiar with both should know the difference. 

**Bed of Roses**

**Part Six**

***

Astonishing, but the person who appeared to be most affected by Lily's and Remus' break-up was Sirius. His previous attitude towards Remus and his relationship taking a hundred-and-eighty degrees turn - he has never been considered the most logical of people. He almost literally breathed fire whenever Snape's name was mentioned, tried to get the ex-couple together again, lectured everybody who would listen that they would soon come to their senses. No amount if irritation on the part of James was doing any good, Remus' angry snarls to leave him alone had no effect. Peter tried to play a negotiator between them, but he was not suitable to the role, given his inclination to be sarcastic.

"I can see you're miserable!" Sirius said one evening. "You miss her!" 

Remus slammed the book he was reading shut. "Will you cut it, Sirius? I broke up with my girlfriend, and yes, I do miss her company, but I did the right thing!"

"The right thing? Then why you and she barely talk to each other? Right James?"

James shrugged, not wanting to be involved in the discussion. He was afraid his anger would take the upper hand of him and he would hit one of them. For the last week spending time with his best friends has been such a strain on his nerves that he has started to avoid them. Staying calm around a rambling Sirius was hard, but staying calm around Remus was even harder. James has never suspected he would be capable of such negative feelings towards Remus. The way his friend displayed his misery was positively infuriating when everyday he could see the effect their break-up had on Lily. He couldn't figure out his own reactions. He always thought he would be happy if Remus and Lily broke up, it was what he secretly wanted after all. But when he saw Lily's pain...

She was heartbroken. She must have loved Remus very much. Being there for her was the least he could do, to let her know he was on her side in all this mess. Every time Remus was mentioned her expression would darken and James would be ready to go out and challenge the werewolf to a duel, friend or not. Every sad thank-you smile a testimony that his presence was of any use, he managed to restrain himself and stay by her side instead. He tried to take her mind off her ex-boyfriend and cheer her up, so he read the books she recommended so that he could discuss them with her. He inquired about her girl-counselling duties claiming he wanted to get to know women better. That never failed to make her laugh. He couldn't wait for the Potions tutoring to start to have another subject to discuss with her, but it was the Slytherin lab week - the Gryffindors were the last in line.

"Right," Peter supplied. "Honestly. You were so perfect for each other..."

James tensed. _Lily and Remus are so perfect for each other._ He hated that line.

"And that you let that slimeball get between you..." Peter continued.

Sirius bared his teeth and James was tempted to the same. If it weren't for Snape, nothing would have happened. If Remus indeed felt the way he had described to them, he would have come to the same decision sooner or later, but with more consideration for Lily's feelings. Snape and his Slytherin machinations... One could almost think he had some business in breaking Lily and Remus up. 

"He won't get away with it!" Sirius declared. "I want his blood!"

"That would be difficult," Peter noted. "That entire gang is paranoid when it comes to blood. But blood would provide some interesting..."

"Shut up, Peter," Remus snapped. 

Uneasily, James and Sirius looked at one another. The flashes of Peter's inclinations to try Dark Magic, however infrequent, were unsettling at best. 

"I was speaking figuratively," Sirius clarified.

"His pride is the most precious thing to him," James said. "I say we aim at his pride. What he's most proud of?"

They all frowned. Who knows with Snape? 

"Not his hair," Peter sniggered. "Besides, we've already charmed his hair pink last year."

Remus shook his head. "I'm not getting into this with you, guys. Did you notice how all of this resulted from the pranks we pulled on him? We pull a prank and he gets back on us... so in turn we ridicule him in front of entire school and he cuts where it hurts most."

The statement was true enough, but it was always like that. It was an endless circle. But until now, the results have never been so severe. Well, with the exception of the Whomping Willow incident.

Evidently they all thought of it because Peter commented, "You shouldn't have gone after him back then, James. He would be ten feet underground now and none of this would have happened-"

"Peter!" James hissed.

"Thank you, my friend," Remus said coldly, rising from his bed. "I'm going to the library."

"Great going, Pete," Sirius snapped after Remus left them. "Although I agree with your sentiments, you could have been more delicate."

"Delicate? Hardly your middle name, Padfoot. If-"

"Let's get back to the topic, shall we?" James suggested irritably. "We were talking about Snape, I believe."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed eagerly. "I want-"

"His blood is not an option," James informed him dryly. "His pride is."

"Slytherins are obsessed with their families' standing," Peter suggested. "Perhaps we should start there?"

James shook his head. "Nothing can be done from Hogwarts. No contact with the outside world, we don't enough about his family. I have better idea."

"What?"

James grinned. "Potions. He considers himself best at Potions. Let's make him fail."

Slow smile lightened Sirius' face, the wheels in his brain turning furiously. "Cool. It's a Slytherin lab week - they're making the potion for professor Vodkan. Snape would also be doing some of his extra projects. Sabotage."

James frowned. He didn't like the idea of sabotage. It was so... Slytherin. He didn't want to stoop to their enemy's level. "I don't know, maybe better to provide some distraction..."

"We won't win against him if we play soft," Peter said. "He let Remus' secret out. He caused two of our friends a lot of pain. Let's really make him suffer. Let's break him up with Wilkes, with Daisy's help. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth."

"Doesn't apply to Snape," Sirius grimaced. "He's too cold-blooded to feel the loss of a girlfriend. It would affect Wilkes at best."

"Well, maybe it would affect her Quidditch performance."

"We play honourably, Pete," James reminded him. "Let's concentrate on the subject."

"James is right," Sirius relaxed in his chair. "Potions is the key. The only thing that would get to him is making him fail in Potions. And let's face it, he's too damn good for us to hope something as simple as distraction would work. Only sabotage."

James sighed. "You mean taking my Invisibility Cloak and sneaking up into the lab, of course."

"You're reading my mind, Prongs."

***

Her new status of a free girl becoming old news already, Lily had some time off from the multitude of friends wanting to express their condolences - some actually used the word and Lily wanted to smack them saying that neither she nor Remus were dead - and inquiring if she was all right. Lizzie felt sorry for her - she knew what unrequited love was and thought it was Lily's pain. Daisy was mad at Remus. Lily couldn't decide which was worse.

"I'm not going to cut my veins open," she snapped at Lizzie. "My boyfriend dumped me, such things happen!"

"But you were so perfect for each other..."

She was starting to hate that line. The problem was she also thought she and Remus were perfect for each other. She wasn't sure of her own feelings, but she was sure of his and she has never considered the possibility he would be the one to walk away, especially after he had confessed his 'condition' to her. What was wrong with her that she couldn't elicit honest feelings, only an impression?

She gathered the parchments from the table she was sitting at. "I'm going to see James about those schedules."

Merlin, it was such relief to get away from all those hushed voices commenting on her. And it was good to have an excuse to see James too. She had to smile thinking about him. She would have much harder time coping with that slight change in her life if it wasn't for him. And to think she tried to avoid him earlier. He was there when she cried, he was there to let her know he was on her side, to fend off all these busybodies trying to pry the details of the break-up out of her. 

Finding James was not an easy task. First she was forced to retreat from the library when she saw Remus sitting there. As much as she missed studying with him, being near him was too much of an emotional struggle - having to quench the fire of disappointment, resentment and plain anger was rather hard. She finally found James on the Quidditch pitch. Being a Head Boy had some advantages and one of them was having the liberty to go whenever the fancy took him at any time of day and night.

Narrowing her eyes to see better in the dusk, she admired his lithe form as he practiced the feints as if he was one with the broomstick. It was much more enticing to watch him flying alone than observing him during the match, she realized. There was something untamed in the lone flyer, something that the match always managed to squeeze out with it's rules. She could simply stand there and stare at him for hours. And she probably would if James didn't suddenly dive to the ground and narrowly avoided crashing. The scene looked so perilous that Lily couldn't help but emit a small shriek. James stilled the broomstick in the midair, slowly turning around.

"Lily?!" he shouted.

She raised her hand, parchments folded between her fingers, and waved at him, signalling that she wanted him to get down and talk the business with her. Gentleman as always, he immediately did so.

"Lily? What are you doing here?" he asked, wiping a sweaty brow with his thumb as he advanced to her, broomstick in hand.

"The Quidditch practice schedules, captain. The Potions lab schedule and the Quidditch one interfere with one another. I don't exactly know the Quidditch one, and Leocadia came to me complaining this morning, so I thought I'd better talk with you."

He removed the gloves and took the parchments. "Well, right. As it is all the schedules are of no use. Changing the Potions lab time-table is out of question, I suppose?"

"Ravenclaws would skin us alive. Not to mention Snape."

His mouth quirked upwards. "Now, that is an interesting prospect."

She sighed. "We have enough work already, James. We don't want trouble with frenzied Ravenclaw prefects or infuriated Slytherins."

"We don't?"

"James."

"All right, all right, I'll be good." He studied the schedules for a moment. "I'll talk to other team captains, I'm sure we'll work it out."

She nodded, pulling her coat closer to her body. Late November weather wasn't friendly to the lone figures standing on the open field. 

James was quick to note her discomfort. "Sorry to keep you here... I would give my robe, but it smells... erm... shall we go inside?"

"I'm fine, not your fault I came with this stuff to bother you during your practice..."

"No, it's all right," he assured her hastily. "It was important and I _am_ a team captain. It's my job to take care of it."

Together, they walked towards the castle. It was quite pleasant a walk, although lacking the easy camaraderie of her time with Remus. There was too much energy in the air, too many doubts, too many questions she wanted to ask but didn't dare. James was the one to break the silence. 

"Lily?"

"Yes?" "How are you holding up? About Remus I mean?"

She was startled at the question. James has been supporting her, but he has never asked her anything directly. She assumed he knew, even without her voicing her feelings. Stupid of her. He wasn't a psychic after all and supporting her without knowing what her opinion was might be an issue for him. She didn't want to drive him away. She... needed him too much.

"It's more difficult than I thought it would be."

Silence. Somehow she got an impression it was the wrong thing to say.

"I miss his company. He _was_ my best friend, and it's what hurts most. Not that he doesn't love me, or even that he has never loved me, but that he doesn't want to talk to me. We had so much in common and now... do you have any idea how unproductive studying with Daisy is?"

"Yes, I do."

She couldn't help but smile at his snort. "I suppose you would... and James?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being with me, I would have gone crazy in this madhouse if it wasn't for you."

"Think nothing of it, Lily. I would do it for anybody."

She closed the coat around her tighter. Of course he would. He was that kind of person. He probably felt responsible because Remus was his best friend. She shouldn't read too much meaning into things he did or said.

"It's like Eowyn and Aragorn, you know," she said quietly.

He raised an eyebrow in amusement. Trust Lily to find a parallel with her favourite book. "What do you mean?"

"Eowyn fell for Aragorn because he was suitable. He was handsome, noble, courageous and destined to become a great king. He was everything a princess like Eowyn might want in a man, so she thought she loved him. And she wanted to be loved by a man like that, to be loved by a noble king, as a princess should be loved. Later, she realized she didn't know Aragorn, that she had only imagined herself to be in love with the image of apparent perfection."

"It looked like true love to me at the time," muttered James.

"But it was not," protested Lily. "Eowyn didn't even know that Aragorn was bounded to another. And she has finally found love in Faramir, a man whom she had chance to get to know, away from the battlefield. Remus and were like that. He was all a girl like me should love, an image of apparent perfection, so I imagined myself to be in love with him. And I didn't even know he was a werewolf."

James didn't respond for a long moment. When they approached the stairways of Hogwarts, he commented in a strangely tight voice, "But you did know Remus. You were happy with him."

Lily sighed. "I was happy being with Daisy too. And with Lizzie. But I wasn't in love with them. With Remus... there was always something lacking. No spark... no passion, as Snape said."

"And you said love wasn't about passion."

She laughed mirthlessly. "I lied. I wanted Snape to admit that I was fully loved, despite being a boring and plain Lily Evans. And that Remus was fully loved despite being a werewolf." She turned her face away, not wanting him to notice the faint blush warming her cheeks. "I want passion... like every other girl I want to know passionate love."

It was an awkward moment, filled with uncomfortable knowledge that she was talking about passion to the person she used to shyly fantasize about. He would laugh if he knew. He could have any girl he wanted, girls like Daisy, funny, beautiful and outgoing. And here she was, red-haired, pale-faced, small-busted and with freckles, confessing her dreams about passion. Pathetic...

"It's getting late," she said briskly. "We should go inside."

"Yes. Yes, we should."

His smile looked somewhat artificial, as they entered the Hogwarts Castle, but Lily dismissed it as an embarrassment at her confessions. She should keep her mouth shut next time and try not to ruin a beautiful friendship with something that could not be.

***

**A/N:** You just have no idea how difficult that last part was! Please tell me if it was any good or I'm going to bury myself in misery. *sigh* Next chapter: Lily would be doing some thinking again, some James-and-Lily non-angsty interaction and the war with Snape would heat up... 


	7. Part Seven

**Bed of Roses**

**Part Seven**

***

"Here you have, Jonathan," Lily said to the greatly relieved first year, handing him a mild sleeping potion. Poor kid missed home terribly, to the point he couldn't sleep. Being a Muggle-born he had trouble with adaptation and Lily considered bringing the matter up to Professor Flitwick, Jonathan's Head of House. 

"Thank you," the boy whispered shyly, examining the vial. 

Lily had to smile. She could remember her own mistrust to the wizarding ways all too well. "It will really help you. It contains some valerian and herbs and several spells. You will be sleeping sound in no time, you'll see."

Johanna nodded and took his portion of the potion with him, leaving Lily alone with the Hogwarts mediwitch.

"Anything else, Madam Pomfrey?"

The woman looked up from the potions she was lining up in the cabinet. "Would you mind staying here for another hour or so? I have a couple owls to send and I need to get Professor Vodkan make more Pepper-Up Potion... I can't leave the Hospital Wing unsupervised."

"Of course, no problem." 

Madam Pomfrey closed the cabinet. "Well, in that case if something serious comes up, you'll find me either in Owlery or in Professor Vodkan's office. You will manage with the lighter cases."

Lily nodded. She was doing everything in her power not to grin like an idiot, but in fact she was very proud of the faith Madam Pomfrey had in her. She struggled hard to become a good mediwitch but Madam Pomfrey didn't usually shower her with compliments. The school nurse was a very no-nonsense person. 

Alone, Lily took the _'The Healer'_ and skimmed through the pages stopping on the article on the effects of strengthening charms. She got through half of the page perhaps, when her thoughts started wandering. 

James. 

He invited her to the Hogsmeade this weekend. Well, actually he told her that he needed to buy some Quidditch supplies and that he might use a specialist on charms to verify the quality of the new cushioning charms. The problem was that it would be hard to find a better expert on any form of magic connected to Quidditch than James himself. If there were such a person at Hogwarts, his name would be Sirius Black. James obviously didn't need her and she's never hidden the fact that Quidditch placed rather low on the list of her interests. Could it count as asking out then? It was not the first time she would be going to Hogsmeade with a member of the infamous quartet, but never before had she gone there with James alone. Of course, before they had been either too young for asking each other out or she had been Remus' girlfriend. 

But now? 

One: he used a lame excuse to make her agree to go with her. Two: she had no attachments. Three: he had no attachments, as amazing as it seemed. Four: there would be only the two of them. Five: there was always the possibility they would go to the Three Broomsticks for a glass of a butterbeer. It sounded like a date to her. She chickened out and said she would have to clear it with Daisy first since she had already made the arrangements for Saturday. Well, she needed time to think.

James Potter, the star, the most sought-after boy at Hogwarts, asking out Lily Evans? Something had to be wrong... There _had_ to be a catch somewhere. What if he only wanted to cheer her up, to take her mind off her troubles?

She could almost hear Daisy's advice, _Then go with him and have a good time anyway, silly! He didn't ask you to marry him and bear his children!_

Oh hell, why not? Go with him, not bear his children, that is.

Having made up her mind, Lily returned to the article. 

"Evans?"

She looked up. Blinking, she convinced herself that the person who said her name was indeed the one she thought she heard. In front of her, clutching his left forearm with his right hand as if in pain, was Snape.

"Snape?"

"No, Uric the Oddball. Where is Madam Pomfrey?"

"Taking care of some business." She put the magazine away. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'll... come back... later..." the words came out in a hiss of pain.

Lily shrugged. It wasn't as if she cared that Snape, of all people, didn't trust her skill. "As you wish. But I assure you I'm capable of relieving the pain."

He looked unconvinced, but, probably because of the pain, he gave a small nod and sat on one of the beds. 

"What happened?"

"I cut myself," he replied, unbuttoning the cuffs the shirt under his school robe. When he rolled the sleeve up, Lily's eyebrows shot up. The gash that went across his inner forearm about two inches under the elbow was a large, deep and open wound. What had he been doing, trying to cut his hand off? 

"When did it happen?"

"The day before yesterday."

She looked at him incredulously. "That long ago? It looks very fresh, although it's not bleeding."

He seemed to struggle with himself. "I used an Noli-Sanguinare Spell," he admitted, tensing when she touched the slightly swollen tissue of his hand.

She shook her head at such stupidity. "You can't use such potent charms on such a big cut! It interferes with the system, prevents you trombocytes from working their way. No wonder the wound didn't heal. You must release the charm and let the cut bleed naturally for a little while."

He frowned. "Are you crazy, Evans? I'm not going to let myself bleed, for a little while or a little longer! Do you have any idea what can be done with blood?"

She tapped her foot impatiently. "You prefer to have your hand useless for the next month and be drugged with painkillers?"

He thought for a moment, glancing at his forearm, his long hair obscuring his face. "Yes."

She snorted. "As if the teachers wouldn't notice and didn't send you back here for treatment."

Again, he seemed to consider her words. "What do you suggest?"

"I'll release the charm and you'll sit here, letting your arm bleed for several minutes. Then I'll put the healing salve on and use a Asclepio Charm."

"Can't you just use a... what's it's name... the Scabbing Charm?"

She sighed in exasperation. "Snape, _I_ am a mediwitch apprentice here, not you. I know what I am doing. You have severed not only your skin and veins, but also nerves and possibly some muscle. The Scabbing Charm won't help for internal injuries. The salve is necessary."

Snape nodded, looking a little impressed. She realised she was showing off her knowledge, but with people like Snape - the ones with the negative attitude towards everything unless they were proved wrong - there was no other way. Snape nodded his agreement and Lily went to the cabinet to take a clean cloth and a salve. When she came back to her patient, she noticed he had his wand drawn-out.

"And what do you need _that_ for?"

"To dispose of the blood. You didn't think I would let you wipe it with a _cloth?_"

She gritted her teeth and started tending to his wound. Oh, how tempting it was to squeeze his arm and hear him yelp! For all he had done to her, to Remus, to her friends. But then again, she was supposed to practice her bedside manners. 

"So tell me, Snape," she said conversationally while cleaning the area around the deep gash. "What did you do to get yourself this little inconvenience?"

"I was cutting the scorpion carapaces and my knife slipped."

_Yeah, right,_ thought Lily. More like some popular Slytherin game involving throwing knives went not exactly as intended. The wound that deep and placed so high couldn't be a result of the lab accident. Did he think her stupid?

"If you say so."

The cut started bleeding slowly and Snape immediately began charming the blood away, making it disappear into thin air. Lily had to wait about twenty minutes before she could apply the salve. 

"How's life been going, Evans?" Snape asked after a moment of silence.

She blinked. "Why?"

"I'm trying to make conversation."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "As opposed to ruining my life every now and then?"

He seemed surprised. "I did you a favour. You are attached to that werewolf no longer. Don't tell me you're still pining after him?"

All thoughts of becoming a good mediwitch forgotten, Lily squeezed Snape's arm. Oh yes, the yelp was definitely satisfying.

"Whach ya doin', Evans!" he gasped, almost bending in two.

"Let me make one thing clear. My life's not your business, so please refrain yourself from messing with it again. Your _favours_ aren't welcome. And if you tell a word of insult about my friends, you'll be very sorry. Understood?"

Still gasping, he tried to shrug. "Whatever you say, Evans. I only live to serve."

"Good. Now stay still as I put the salve on."

He didn't say a word after that, neither did Lily, still fuming. She tended to the injury, applied the Asclepio Charm and bandaged the Slytherin's forearm. Trying not to show her amusement at his paranoid checking for any traces of blood that he might have left, she focused her thoughts on the upcoming weekend. That was certainly more pleasant than dealing with James's nemesis.

***

School business finished, James and Lily were the only ones left in the common room. The flames in the fireplace cracked merrily and the faint red glow illuminated the chairs they were seated at. To Lily it was almost... romantic.

"We're done early," she remarked.

"And what more could we do about _laundry?_" James asked. 

"If the first years don't learn to put their baskets _in front_ their beds, the House Elves are going to run crazy with worry that they can't find them. Merlin, I can't believe some wizarding children can be so helpless. Do you know that Muggles have no House Elves and they still can go on with their lives?"

"I have taken Muggle studies, Lily," James sounded a little offended. "For four years now. I do know Muggles go by without servants. Although how they do laundry without them, and without washing spells... Professor Triden didn't cover that. Do they have to do it by hand?"

Lily took a deep breath. For the last seven years she was doing all in her power to familiarize her friends with Muggle ways, but only Sirius had any idea what she was talking about most of the time, being the only one with recent Muggle ancestry. Time for another lesson.

"Some Muggles, in less developed countries do it by hand. Others have machines to do it for them."

"I wish I could go to the Muggle world and see such a machine."

Lily broke into laughter. "You would go to the Muggle world to see a _washing machine?_ James, if it isn't the most silly wish I ever heard!"

James shifted in his armchair. "Well, why not? The items of every-day use seem most interesting. Most different."

Lily stopped laughing and became thoughtful. "James... if you're so curious about Muggle world, why didn't you come to my house during the summer holidays a year ago? Lizzie, Daisy, Sirius, Remus and Peter could and you..."

James's face took a slightly grim expression. "I'm sorry Lily."

"Nothing to be sorry about, I would simply want to know why... and if my family or I ..." she trailed off uncertainly not knowing what she wanted to say.

"It had nothing to do with you or with your family." he sighed. "It had everything to do with _my_ family though. See, my father is pretty uptight... a career man. And my mother is quite a social climber. They simply needed me present on all the social occasions they were attending or hosting. _'This is our son, Mr Biwinkle, he's a captain of his House's Quidditch team and a prefect. Your niece is a prefect too? How extraordinary! They should meet each other, I'm sure they would understand each other well!_" he mimicked. "That kind of stuff."

"Sounds dreadful," Lily said greatly relieved that the reason for James's refusal to her invitation was completely external.

"It was. Sometimes I think staying at Hogwarts and dealing with the first-years' laundry and bathroom problems is preferable to the holidays at home,"

The girl chuckled. "Only a rich, spoiled brat can say something like that."

"You say I'm spoiled brat?"

"I don't know. Are you?"

"Of course not! Marianne is the spoiled one, not me," he referred to his younger sister. 

"And you were the one to spoil her rotten, no doubt," she teased. From what Lily heard, James adored his baby sister. 

"I did not! I'm the most responsible of brothers! I take her on the broomstick ride whenever she asks me to!"

"And that's responsible behaviour?"

"Of course," James said with deep conviction. "She will be a professional Beater one day. The way she smashes the balls sometimes is incredible. Such talent should be groomed from the cradle."

"Aurors and Quidditch players. The most glamorous occupations in wizarding world," Lily grimaced. "At least it's better than being an actor or a model in Muggle one."

James cleared his throat. "Speaking about Quidditch. What about our little excursion to Hogsmeade?"

_It's your last chance to back out,_ Lily thought. "Daisy said she doesn't need me that much. I can go." _The die is cast._

"Great!" James's face looked like it was going to split in two with his huge grin. "Can't wait till we scare off the shop owner with our competence!"

Again, Lily couldn't help but laugh. She and the competence in Quidditch? Merlin, was there another person who made her laugh so much? 

***

Their plan was simple. Peter was supposed to go down to the Potions lab and engage Snape in some sort of conversation to provide distraction, while James and Sirius, under the Invisibility Cloak, would add some water to the potion Snape was brewing. Easier said or done. 

As Peter entered the lab, James and Sirius - invisible - in tow, Snape barely looked up from the set of vials that were placed next to the cauldron he was standing at.

"Get out, Pettigrew."

"Oi, Snape... I thought you would be glad... I came to make amends," Peter started.

James and Sirius scanned the lab. There were four different cauldrons - two were simmering softly, and two appeared to be in a full boil.

"Which one?" Sirius mouthed to James.

James made a face. He had no idea.

"Not interested," Snape answered to Peter's goodwill. "Get out before I go to Professor Vodkan complaining that you interfere with Slytherin lab schedule."

Peter's eyebrow quirked upwards. "Vodkan? And he would do _ what,_ I pray?"

Meanwhile, James and Sirius sneaked up to the cauldrons, deciding they would add the water to all cauldrons. They hoped none of them would blow up to their faces, but the risk was minimal. Additional water tended to render most of the potions ineffective. The only thing they needed was Snape getting out of their way, losing some of his focus.

"I'm a prefect, if you haven't noticed before, Pettigrew," Snape replied. "My word does carry some weight. I'm sure I could suggest to Vodkan what he might do."

"Awww, Snape. How impolite of you to threaten me when I come as a messenger of peace."

James rolled his eyes praying that Peter wouldn't overdo with sarcasm.

"I can also go to Castor," Snape said, sounding irritated. "I'm sure you will be happy to be the centre of attention when you lose fifty points."

The Gryffindors, those visible and invisible, winced at the thought.

"No proof again, Snape," Peter said confidently. "Even Castor wouldn't... and what do we have here?"

Peter, prowling around the lab, approached the desk on which the parchments and scrolls lay. Selecting one of them, he scanned the content.

"Elixir of Invocation? Isn't it illegal?" Snape's attention was caught. "Put that down, you sorry excuse for a wizard," he hissed, "or I will hex you not only into next week, but also to the other side of the Moon."

"Afraid of losing fifty points? Or perhaps of Azkaban?"

"Accio exercise parchment!" Snape called and the page flew from Peter's hand to Snape's. 

Peter, rather unaffected, merely picked another one. "My, my... Licentiousness Potion? Now, what would you need _that_ one for? If you only..."

Snape was advancing at him with his wand drawn out. "Lacrimae Caeca!"

Immediately Peter's eyes welled up with tears. "C'mon Snape... " he wheezed as the liquid streamed down his face and leaked inside his nasal fossa, down to his throat. "I won't look anymore... ok? You didn't have to blind me!"

That was the chance James and Sirius waited for. Although Peter could be a pest, he could also be genius sometimes. Quickly they emptied the bottle of water they had hidden under the cloak into the four cauldrons. Mission complete. James stuck the hand out from beneath the Invisibility Cloak and waved at Peter that the task has been carried out successfully. Hopefully Peter would see it. 

Either Peter saw it, or had enough of providing distraction, for he said while choking on tears, "You're hopeless, Snape. Don't... expect any of... us... offer you hand again."

Shuffling through his parchments, Snape snapped, "No worries, Pettigrew. I would rather shake hands with a Dementor."

"At this rate, Snape, I'm sure you'll get a chance," Peter replied, trying to find his way despite not being able to see anything. When he managed to get to the door and open them, he collided with somebody.

James and Sirius, also on their way out, saw Anabell Wilkes.

"Pettigrew?" she said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Leaving," Peter muttered and almost stumbled trying to get past her. "Would you please move?"

She did, letting him go and closing the door. James heard Sirius gnash his teeth in anger. Well, it couldn't have possibly gone smoothly, could it? The way out was blocked and two Gryffindors were forced to wait until either Snape or Wilkes decided to leave.

"What was that all about?" Anabell asked.

Snape shook his head, still mad. "He came to _make amends._ Would you believe that?"

"No." Anabell furrowed her brows. She was actually quite pretty girl, with straight black hair falling to the middle of her back and pale complexion. James wondered what she was doing with Snape, she could surely do much better, especially given her popularity in Slytherin as a Seeker.

"What did he _really_ want?" she inquired.

"He was spying on me," Snape replied angrily. "On behalf of his masters, no doubt, Casanova and Potty - I think it's time we showed them their places. Pettigrew got to my recipes."

"Oh."

"Well, possession of the recipes is not a crime..."

"You should be more careful, Severus." Anabell went to the cauldrons and peeked into them. "Which one?"

"The one to the right. It should be ready in the next hour or so."

Anabell grinned at him. "Cool."

Snape nodded, returning to the spot he vacated at Peter's arrival. Selecting one of the vials, he begun to fill it with some kind of dried leaves.

"How is your arm?" the girl asked.

Unconsciously Snape's hand went to rub his left forearm. James thought Snape had an odd look on his face, his features... softening? Nah... just an impression.

"Better. Next time be more careful. As if you didn't have any practice."

"Sorry."

"It's all right, Bell. But would you excuse me now? I need to concentrate, we wouldn't like some of those concoctions go wrong, would we?"

"With you brewing?" the Slytherin girl blandished him with a smile. "As if. I'll come later to get the potion."

Nodding, Snape returned to work. James noticed the chance and dragged Sirius after Wilkes. Trying not to sigh loudly with relief, they slipped out of the lab after her.

"Show us our places?" Sirius seethed when they got away at the safe distance. "Why... that slimeball... we shall see how his little brews turn out."

James shrugged the Invisibility Cloak off them. "I wonder what he was brewing. Any chance he starts salivating while taking? How do you think?"

"I hope he was making that Licentiousness Potion of his and that he fails and he makes a fool of himself. And that I will be there to watch it."

"We shall live, we shall see," James said philosophically. "But he will almost certainly get in trouble with Vodkan. Revenge is sweet."

***

**A/N:** If someone didn't realize that yet, Snape is going to be a major player now, with Remus more in the background. So if someone hates fics with Snape in it, then this is not a story for them. 

_Lacrimae Caeca_ means approximately: 'blinding tears', although my Latin is not best, so this is only a rough translation.

Please review! Feedback is always welcome!


	8. Part Eight

**Disclaimer:**This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   
  
**A/N:** Well, I'm back. My eyesight improved to the extent I could only dream about, I'm finally allowed to do some computer-ralated stuff. Honestly, the wonders of laser medicine are better than magic!  
  
Once again I apologize of spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm out of spellcheck _again_.  
  


**Bed of Roses  
Part Eight**

  


***

The weekend was blessed with good weather - this time Professor Teiresias was correct and the students could carry out everything they had planned, the walks, the Quidditch training, even picnics, despite the winter cold. The road to Hogsmeade was more crowded than ever, the third-years still marvelling at the novelty of being out on their own. The shops in the village were flooded with Hogwarts students, but the owners didn't mind. It was hard to get better customers than unsupervised children.  
  
"What do you think about this one?" James asked, pointing some broomstick as they entered the store with Quidditch supplies.   
  
Lily looked ahead, her brain blank. What was she supposed to say, that all broomsticks looked the same to her? "Which one?"  
  
"The one in the middle. It's a Rocket 77, much more manoeuvreable than old Star Flayers."  
  
"Really?"  
  
James rolled his eyes. "Lily, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, or if I'm boring you, you can tell me. We can do the thing we came here for quickly and have some fun."  
  
Fun? The alarm bells in her head went off. She knew the boys well enough to know what kind of things they considered fun and she didn't think she was ready to participate in it.   
  
"No, I'm not bored, I'm only..." she trailed off seeing James's sceptical expression. "All right, I have no idea what you are talking about and I think broomsticks are boring."  
  
The sky didn't fall down upon hearing her admission and James didn't run off in fright. His smile broadened into wide grin. "You will only tell me the difference between the Scholastic's cushioning charm and the Bloomsbury one. Then we can go to the Honeyduke's."  
  
Lily nodded, relieved that her lack of Quidditch expertise didn't bother him. She was afraid that her ingnorance about Quidditch would be a hindrance in their friendship. Fortunately, there were other things they could discuss. Joining James in talking to the seller, she helped him choose the charm the team was supposed to be operating on from now on. To her great surprise, she actually did provide some insight into he quality of the charms.   
  
"Now we need to try them out on the pitch," James summed their purchase up when the seller handed him seven little boxes.   
  
"I only hope it was a good choice," Lily said nervously. "I wouldn't like to be guilty of recommending the wrong thing."   
  
"No worries. I'm taking the responsibility." James minimized the boxes so that they could fit into his pocket.   
  
"But still..."   
  
"Relax, Lily, OK?" he sounded slightly exasperated. "Although some people may talk as if Quidditch was more important than life to them, I assure you it's just an impression."   
  
Walking out on the street, Lily couldn't help but ask, "So what is more important to you than the Gryffindor winning the House Cup?"   
  
James slowed down, his brows furrowed. "It's a very hard question. There are some matters... I'm not sure I can tell you."   
  
Lily maintained her smile with an effort. She didn't expect him to take her silly question that seriously. The answer was supposed to be something like: _'The only thing more important than Gryffindor getting the House Cup is Slytherin _not _ getting it.'_ He was a little distant and she suddenly felt she wanted to know why.   
  
"I would be honoured if you could tell me."   
  
The expression that passed through his eyes was odd, containing traces of sadness and hope. But is was gone before Lily had a chance to register it properly and he shook his head as if to repel some disturbing thought.   
  
"To tell you the truth, Quidditch scores pretty low on the list of my priorities. I would give it up if my preparation for the Auror Academy requiered it. Or if Marianne's well-being depended on it. Or if my friendship with Remus, Sirius and Peter was endangered because of it. Or..."   
  
From the far-away look on his face she learned that this last reason was important, most important of them all. "Or?"   
  
"Nothing," he smiled with his it's-nothing-really smile that was becoming his trademark. "So, what place do you prefer to visit first, Honeyduke's or Three Broomsticks?"   
  
The swift change of subjects and moods bewildered her. "Huh?" she asked dumbly.   
  
"Do you need more chocolate frogs or can we go to get some butterbeer at Three Broomsticks?"   
  
The thing that clicked into her mind was _'butterbeer at Three Broomsticks,'_ just like in her earlier musings. "Three Broomsticks," she respondend without hesitation.   
  
The inn was crowded when they got there, Hogwarts students talking over the glasses of mild beverages, filling the room with noise. Lily noticed Madam Rosmerta, a very attractive young witch serving the drinks and laughing at the teasing remarks of some young customers. The woman spotted them and waved in their direction.   
  
"I'll be right there, Mr Potter!"   
  
"You know her?" Lily muttered. She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. Rosmerta was so... energetic.   
  
"Not really," James said as Rosmerta made her way through the crowd to them.   
  
"There, in the corner," Rosmerta said and led them to the back of the room. "I'm doing it for the first and last time, Mr Potter. Know my good heart."   
  
Lily got the idea what this was all about when she saw what Rosmerta pointed to them. It was a table. Nothing fancy, just a regular table at Three Broomsticks. But it was a _free_ table in quite a secluded area, shielded from the rest of the room by the decorative wall. A free table at Three Broomsticks on Saturday, just before noon? It was a miracle.   
  
"How did you do it?" she exlaimed, sitting down.   
  
"It's a secret," he smirked at her.   
  
"I bet you paid her," she taunted. "Rich boy."   
  
He sighed theatrically, putting his hand at his heart. "Why do the girls see only money in me and not my dazzling flawless personality?"   
  
Although James seemed to see it as a joke, Lily felt ashamed. "I'm sorry, it's not true. You're much more than money." BR>  
His smile faltered. "You really think so?"   
  
There was an unfamiliar uncertainity in his voice, something almost approaching self-doubt. She put her hand on his, squeezing it tightly.   
  
"I don't _think_ so. I know it."   
  
They looked into each other's eyes and the noise of the room seemed to fade into background, the moment stretching in time. The memory of their dance together stronger than ever, Lily could almost hear the music. The warmth of James's hand getting to her, she felt very self-conscious but didn't remove her fingers from his.   
  
"Your butterbeers!"   
  
The spell was broken. Madam Rosmerta cheerfully placed the drinks they ordered in front of them and returned to the rest of her guests. Blushing hotly Lily quickly jerked her hand away and clasped it around her glass. James too looked a little uncomfortable. It was why Lily liked being with Remus - she never felt uncomfortable around him, never felt the silnce buzz with unspoken words.   
  
"Only three weeks left until Christmas," James remarked.   
  
Lily smiled melancholically. "Hard to believe, isn't it? I don't see people around getting into the Christmas spirit."   
  
"Things are being difficult of late."   
  
She circled the rim of the butterbeer glass with her finger, staring down. "You're not talking only about the fact that Professor McGonagall decided that all Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs need additional two hours a week in Herbology, and that the prefects screwed up in maintaining order during the last Quidditch match, are you?"   
  
"You know very well I'm not," James sighed. "I'm talking about you and Remus dancing around each other. Can't you just talk to him?"   
  
"I tried, James." Lily looked up, her eyes sincere with just a hint of bitterness to them. "Honestly, I tried. But it's like I don't know him at all, he never behaved that way before."   
  
"It's getting wearisome. Did you notice how the people in the common room have been reacting?"   
  
Lily laughed. It was hardly a hilarious situation, but she perceived the reactions of her fellow Gryffindors as ludicrous. Given the moodiness of the normally level-headed Remus, the other students - girls in particular - were all trying to 'cheer him up'. The situations that resulted because of that cheering-up excercies were sometimes worthy of being written down in the annuals of Hogwarts under the 'most ridiculous ideas' title.   
  
"You mean Bethany trying to involve him in her 'priestesses of love' movement or Andrew asking him to act as a Quidditch loop for his 'dry practice' in the common room?"   
  
"I was actually thinking of Daisy requesting that he pose nude for her."   
  
Lily's eyes teared up, the butterbeer almost going up her nose. "Don't remind me!" she wheezed. "I've _never_ seen such an expression on his face! I doubt even Sirius is ever going to come up with anything that would put that look on his face again!"   
  
"What was _her_ excuse anyway?"   
  
Lily shook her head and wiped her eyes with a napkin. "She said that the instructions concerning the making of the wizarding paintings recommended 'familiarizing oneself with the anatomy of a human body' and that she wouldn't ask Professor Flitwick to show her anything."   
  
James gaped. "She really said that?"   
  
"Uhum."   
  
He burst out laughing. "Can you imagine that? Professor Flitwick as the example of human anatomy?"   
  
"James!" Lily started coughing into her butterbeer. "Quit it or else I'm going to choke myself to death here!"   
  
"Oh, that would be definitely a pity."   
  
Lily sighed, but it was not an unhappy sigh. It was amazing how James was able to shift her mood from grave and bitter to merry. She wished she could talk to him more often. She wished she didn't feel ill at ease whenever she saw him conversing with Remus. She wished all this horrible situation would end and she was able to _go out_ with James Potter without worrying about causing somebody pain, without disguising it as a shopping trip.   
  
"Merlin, I hope everything returns to normal, and soon."   
  
James raised an eyebrow, his eyes suddenly darker and his tone biting. "What do you mean by 'normal', Lily?"   
  
She gestured helplessly. "Not my easy little relationship with Remus, if that's what you're thinking of. 'Normal' like in 'without loads of emotional and mental stress'." BR>  
His expression softened as he pushed his glasses up his nose with his index finger. "I suppose everybody will come around after Christams. You know, go home, have a break from everyody else and think a little."   
  
She took a deep sip. "Not for me."   
  
"Why? Do you plan on staying at Hogwarts for Christmas?"   
  
She shrugged. "I don't know. It might be better than arguing with Petunia again." Getting into the confessional mood and spoiling the nice atmosphere beetween them was probably not the best idea, but Lily couldn't help herself. The mere thought of Chrismas was making her depressed and without having Remus to talk to - Daisy, being the only child, was not particularly understanding - she usually wallowed in self-pity at the prospect of her time with her family. "She's terribly angry with me that I won't be there for her wedding."   
  
"Why won't you?"   
  
"N.E.W.T.S."   
  
"She doesn't want to accept that?"   
  
Lily took another sip. What a shame that one can't get drunk with the butterbeer, she thought idly. "She thinks it's my sisterly duty to make the friends of her precious Vernon Dursley feel like gods adored by stupid little girl whose only ambition is getting married off as soon as possible."   
  
"I take it that it's not your ambition?"   
  
His attempt at injecting humour into her confessions proved succsessful. "If it was, I would have been sorted into Slytherin."   
  
"And since you've been not..."   
  
"Since I've been not, I will certainly not miss my N.E.W.T.S, even if I'm going to have my Christmas spoiled by her whining and setting our parents against me."   
  
James leaned back in his chair. "Staying at Hogwarts isn't going to be a picnic either. Having a Head Girl with them all the teachers would want to catch up with the work. You would get no rest."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
His expression turned thoughtful, then a hesitant smile crossed his features. "Well, I know the remedy to your problem."   
  
She looked at him doubtfully. "And that would be--?"   
  
He leaned forward. "Well, what about the Christmas with the Potters?"   
  
The butterbeer getting up her nose was starting to feel familiar. "I beg your pardon?"   
  
"I'm invinting you for Christams, Lily," he said clearly, as if she were a slow-to-understand child.   
  
"Why?"   
  
He frowned. "What do you mean: _why_?"   
  
"Why burden yourself with me? I know next to nothing about the way wizards celebrate Christmas--"   
  
"You know enough!" he interrupted her. "Lily, stop feeling inferior!"   
  
"I don't--"   
  
He put his hands up, calling for peace. "We shall talk about this some other time. Now, tell me if you accept the invitation."   
  
She could barely hear his words, her brain covered with the fog of incomprehension. Even Remus has never invited her for Chrismas! "But why?"   
  
James made sure the glasses were settled on his nose correctly once again. "And why not? You need time out. I might use some company. My house is big enough so that if you don't want anybody to see you, it shouldn't be a problem. C'mon, Lily," he added with a wry smile. "You know you want to."   
  
"I..." Image of Petunia lecturing her shot through her head, followed by the picture of herself sitting between Professor McGonagall and Professor Kettleburn. "I accept."   
  
"Great!" James grinned, "Let's drink for it!"   
  
"Looks like you're having good time," Lily heard.   
  
Turning around in her chair she came to see a beautiful dark-haired girl standing next to the decorative wall that separated their spot from the rest of the room. Leocadia Lowell.   
  
"Quite," she replied, inwardly about as calm as a raging thunderstorm. Leocadia, with her friendly smile and helpful attitude, meant nothing but trouble. Who knew what kind of rumour she would report to her Slytherin friends. "What can I do for you?"   
  
Leocadia came closer and leaned against the table, almost knocking their butterbeers off and then rearranging them clumsily. "Just tell me your secret. How did you manage to get a free table?"   
  
James raised an eyebrow displaying a sense of superiority that would put any Slytherin to shame. "And you believe I would tell you because--?"   
  
The Hufflepuff gestured to the entrance. Lily and James saw three Slytherin girls standing there, waiting.   
  
"Because a fellow prefect is in need. I invited them and now we have nowhere to sit."   
  
"Tough luck," James said. "Because it was my very own charming skill of persuation that got me this table."   
  
Leocadia's smile faded. "Circe, not even a sense of loyalty, Potter. And to be doing the Head Boy - Head Girl meetings in the middle of Three Broomsticks, occupying the tables... not a thought to others."   
  
Muttering in offence, Leocadia took herself off, to the friends that awaited her.   
  
"Company of the Slytherins isn't healthy," James noted.  
  
"Yeah," Lily confirmed. "To think we used to be on really good terms with each other..."   
  
"Don't think of it," James advised. "We didn't get to our toast." He raised his glass. "To the fun we're going to have on Christmas! Cheers!"   
  
Obvious contentment in his tone made her lighten up. "Cheers!"   
  
They clinked their glasses together and drank. After a couple more minutes of easy chatter Lily shifted in her chair.   
  
"Tired?" James asked. "We've been sitting here for quite some time. Do you want to leave?"   
  
Lily drummed her fingers against the surface of the table, feeling more at ease than ever, a devilish spirit unexpectedly entering her. "No," she pointed her empty glass towards the bar where Leocadia and her guests were seated, waiting for a free table. "If we leave, they will take our place."   
  
James was amused, blue eyes sparkling with merriment. "Naughty girl."   
  
"Very." Wouldn't be it wonderful to see that sparkle again, a sparkle _she_ would bring out? She leaned forward, like him when he proposed her Christmas at his place, and whispered, "What do you think about sex, James?"  
  


***

  
**A/N:** The obligatory whine: please review! What do you think?


	9. Part Nine

**A/N:** Thank you everybody for the reviews, they made my day. A note to **Lamina Court**: you just don't know how much I was tempted to write a sex-scene on the table!

**Bed of Roses   
Part Nine**

***

From the heavenly hights of spending time with Lily, James was thrust down to the first circle of hell -- an absolute confusion and embarassment. 

"Sex?" he croaked, the last gulp of his buttebeer going up his nose... and Lily seemed pleased at his reaction.

She nodded eagerly, as though like his opinion on the matter was of the utmost importance to her. "Which type of a guy are you? The 'she's-got-great-body-so-I'd-like-to-get-into-her-knickers' type, or 'she's-got-a-body-so-I'd-like-to-get-into-her-knickers' type, or 'I-admire-her-for-her-mind-so-I'd-like-to-get-into-her-knickers' type, or 'it-looks-like-rain-so-I'd-like-to-get-into-her-knickers' type?" 

James was glad he was out of butterbeer because he was sure he would have choked to death on it. It was not what Lily talked about that embarassed him -- sex was one of the top three topics of the conversations in the boys' dormitories, if not THE top one -- but the fact that it was _Lily_ talking, the object of several fantasies of his and a heroine of more than one of his... eh, dreams. He would die first than tell her about that. Besides, Lily was the last person he expected to venture into that particular subject, so he was taken by surprise. 

"I never thought about it," he lied after coping with the shock. "Who came up with those categories anyway?" 

Lily shrugged happily. "Some magazine of Daisy, I believe. I don't remember the whole list, but it was quite extensive. So?" 

"So what?" 

"Which type are you?" It seemed that the answer was really important to her. 

"None of them," he answered, attempting to fit to her suddenly.. frivolous, to put it mildy, mood. "I don't fit into categories." 

She sighed, not content. "But what kind of girl would you like enough to sleep with? The big-breasts kind like Julie or sweet-face kind like Daisy?" 

He blinked. "Lily, the only girl I would sleep with is a girl I love, so neither Daisy nor Julie qualify." 

A beatific smile formed on her lips. "Really?" 

That smile, together with the devilish sparkle in her eyes, made James notice how hot it became in the room. Understandable, with all the crowd, and with steaming drinks... 

"Of course." 

"The rumour has it that you..." she giggled. 

_Giggled!_ Lily never giggled! Was she drunk or something? 

"Rumour is just that, a rumour. And I thought you don't listen to rumours." 

"I don't. That's why I asked you." 

James nodded. "I see," he said, not seeing anything. 

"Did you... you know... with Daisy... when you were still in love with her?" 

James stared. Seeing her like this, eyes curiously widened, lips slightly pouting, hair in disarray, her... chest falling rapidly, was one of his fantasies, but it didn't feel quite right. Something was wrong here, by Merlin! Lily would not ask him such things were she in her right mind! 

"Lily, are you all right?" 

"Why wouldn't I be?" 

That wasn't an answer he was hoping for. In fact, it wasn't an answer at all. "You... er... usually don't discuss sex..." 

She pouted. _Pouted!_ "You started, with Professor Flitwick's anatomy." 

Well, yeah, he did, kind of... to make her laugh! He hoped to make her blush and a conversation about sex might as well be the reason for her to blush... But instead of blushing, she _giggled_ and _pouted!_

James picked up her empty glass and examined it closely. It was impossible to get drunk on butterbeer though! 

Lily looked around excitedly, blissfully unaware of James's concerned musings. Her gaze stopped on the Slytherin trio accompanied by a Hufflepuff. "I heard that to Slytherin girls it's a matter of honour to bed all of the boys of appropriate age in their House. Do you think it's true?" 

Once again, James stared incredulously. Lily _giggled, pouted AND gossiped!_ He wanted _his_ Lily back! "I don't know... I think it's an exaggaration," he muttered, although he had heard the same fables. Immorality of the Slytherins had no limits, after all. "You would have to ask them." 

She drummed her fingers against the table. "You're right. I'll ask them." 

Mouth agape, James watched as Lily rose from her chair and begun to pick her way towards the bar. _Somebody hit me in the head and make it end,_ he thought. Unfortunately the divine forces remained deaf and he saw Lily standing behind Leocadia Lowell. _It can't be happening..._

He sprung from his chair and, almost stumbling along the way, rushed through the crowded room to Lily, just in time to hear her say: "... like whores? And do you make bets?" 

The arctic gaze of the Slytherins -- Merlin, one of them was Celestina Warbeck! -- told him that whatever Lily had said was very un-Lily-like. Leocadia, however, looked like a cat that has just eaten a canary. James leaped to the rescue in an attempt to minimalise the damage. 

"Excuse her," he said wryly, trying to think up a feasible excuse, "She had too much to drink... and the heat in here..." He ushered Lily out of the Slytherins' way and pushed her towards the door. "I think we would be leaving now." 

"But James," Lily whined... _whined!_ "I didn't get an answer!" 

His resolve to get out strenghtened. "Curiousity killed the cat, Lily!" 

They went out, back to the sunlit street. Lily sighed a sultry little sigh. _Danger! Danger!_ some voice screamed inside James's head as he looked down to see her licking her lips. Merlin and Circe and all the Founders... it was December and here he was, hot and sweating. 

He took a deep breath. He had to stay calm. He had to stay sane. He had to deliver Lily to the safety of the Common Room and outwait whatever it was that posessed her. 

"Lily, we should go back to Hogwarts." 

An adorable little frown marred her forehead as she cocked her head. "Should we?" 

It was his turn to lick his dry lips. Maybe they shouldn't. Maybe they should go into some secluded place and... "Yes," he managed to sound firm, Merlin only knew how. 

"Okay," Lily responded cheerfully and clung to his arm. 

James made a hesitant step forward. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad... 

***

It was much worse than he could have imagined. The entire walk back to Hogwarts was a pure torture. Lily didn't talk, but she was right next to him. To make things worse, she was oblivious to the efect she had on him, pressed so close. If only she was normal, he would have enjoyed the whole affair immensely. He would be extatic to hold her. If only.

As they walked up the staircase inside Hogwarts, something whirred, moving down the railing at astonishing speed, making James crane his neck in an attempt to see what what was it. Lily seemed to wake up. She shook James's arms off her and looked down at the bottom of the staircase. 

"Clancy Rogerson!" she shouted. "Stop it this second!" 

The 'it' turned out to be Clancy Rogerson, a Gryffindor second-year, having fun sliding down the railing. He looked up, his brown eyes widening at the sight of the Head Boy and the Head Girl. 

"Oh shit," he muttered. 

"What did you think you were doing?" Lily asked, her eyebrows furrowed. 

"I... er..." 

"It's dangerous!" she said forcefully. "The staircase could have moved!" 

Clancy sighed. "But... it's the longest railing in the castle... and nobody's looking... and I could go so fast..." 

James took the pity on the boy. He remembered how much fun he and Sirius had had, doing just the same. They were guilty of corrupting Peter and Remus, who usually preferred to watch the stability of the staircase. 

"C'mon Lily," James said. "Don't be so strict. Nothing happened. Clancy's just a kid and this railing is hard to resist." 

Lily looked undecided. "I should detect twenty points and inform Professor McGongall. He did it _again_." 

"He will never do it again, will he?" James spoke to Clancy, who climbed up to them. 

The boy looked at the railing regretfully. "I won't," he mumbled. 

Lily still looked doubtful. 

"I promise." 

James glanced at Lily, who stood torn between two sets of pleading eyes and duty. 

"Oh Lily, you know how it is, to just speed down like this..." 

"No, I don't." Now she looked positively sulky. "I've never slid down the railing." 

James had to stop himself from a shudder. Not that new unpredictability of hers! "Lily, it's just some childish antics..." 

Before he had time to finish, Lily was out of his reach, seating herself on the railing and grinning like a madwoman. 

"Lily!" 

"See you down, James!" she waved her hand and let herself go, after a second becoming only a blur of colours. 

"Lily, are you out of your mind?" 

_Why do I even bother to ask that question,_ he thought sprinting down the stairs, _of course she is! _The peal of joyous laughter answered him. 

And then, when the blur of colours was almost at the bottom of the railing, something happened. 

The staircase _moved._

They say that in the moment of death your entire life replays in your mind. James felt something like that right then. Every moment of his acquitance with Lily that he could remember sprang to his eyes. Through a haze, in slow motion, he could see Lily's form falling down to the marble floor that awaited tens feet below. 

_Think, James, think! Or she's going to die!_

He had fallen off his broomstick from only thrity feet, and he was told it had been a close brush. There were no cushioning charms on that marble floor either, _Lily was going to die..._

Wait. Go back. _The cushioning charms?_

With tremebling hands, James reached to his pocket, taking out seven minimised packages. He threw them after Lily. 

_"Velocitas!"_ he shouted to hasten the packages forward, so that they would fall before Lily. _"Activatio!"_

He couldn't see them activated since the cushioning charms destined for Quidditch brooms were invisible, but he could hear the paper getting ripped. 

Lily hit the floor with a soft _'pluck'. _

_Thank Merlin,_ James thought, speeding down. "Lily!" 

"Mr Potter, what is the meaning of this?!" 

James didn't stop, even though he registered the horrified voice as McGonagall's. "Lily, are you all right?!" 

Lily was sitting on the floor of the main hall, looking around dazedly. "James? Did you see that?" 

His lips were numb with terror. "Lily," he choked out, "Are you hurt?" 

Her eyes were wide. "No! Why?" 

Professor McGongall materialised next to James, her face betraying shock and astonishment. "Miss Evans, what did you just do?" 

Lily got up to her feet and... dusted her robe. "I was sliding down the railing, Professor." 

McGonagall opened her mouth to say something, a harsh rebuff in all likehood, but no words came out. Then she managed, "You were _sliding down the railing?_" 

"I've never done that before and when--" 

James intervened before Lily could get herself deeper into trouble. "She hasn't been herself for some time Professor--" 

"Quiet, Mr Potter," McGonagall snapped. "You're a Head Girl, Miss Evans! You're well aware of the fact that such disregard for school rules can result in severe harm! You could have died, wasn't it for Mr Potter's quick thinking!" 

Lily sounded like a petulant first-year. "But Professor--" 

"What is _wrong_ you, Miss Evans!" the Head of Gryffindor demanded. 

"Nothing!" 

McGonagall, clearly having decided that getting a decent explanation from Lily was impossble, turned to James. "Well?" 

He didn't know what to do. He might get Lily in trouble, but she might be ill, or under a spell... "I don't know Professor," he said, praying McGonagall didn't notice his hesitation. 

No such luck. "Talk, Mr Potter, it's a serious situation!" 

"I think it's the heat... she's been acting strangely for several hours now..." 

McGonagall watched him with narrowed eyes and he squirmed. His Head of House, usually full of understanding and pleasant to be around, suddenly turned into a suspicious Chimera worse than Professor Castor. She took out a wand and James backed away a little, half-expecting her to jinx him. The wand, however, was pointed at Lily. 

_"Dementia revallo!"_

A cloud of white smoke enveloped Lily. Nothing happened. 

_"Magya dolus probanda!"_

Once again, white smoke revealed nothing. Lily took a step forward to get out of the smoke, but she stumbled and had to regain her balance. 

_"Ex intoxicatio inventare!"_

This time, the white smoke changed colour into ugly yellowish-brown. Lily started coughing. 

"Professor MvGonagall?" James inquired, unsure of what has just happened. It was clearly some kind of diagnostics, but James had no idea what the yellowish smoke might mean. McGonagall's face, however, didn't forebode anything good. In fact, her face was furious, or as close to furious as McGonagall could come. 

"She's _drunk_," she said icily. 

James stared at his Head of House dumbly. 

"Would you care to explain Mr Potter, how your companion, clearly unfit to tell herself, wound up in such state?" 

His mind reeling, he shook his head helplessly. "I don't know... we were drinking only butterbeers!" 

Professor's eybrows shot up, a speculative glimmer in her eyes made James's throat go dry. 

"It's very unlike Miss Evans to deliberately ignore rules..." The implication underneath was clear: _"But for some I know, it's not." _

James gulped. "Professor, honestly..." 

She sighed. "I believe you, Mr Potter. We shall talk about it later. Now if you excuse me, I shall take Miss Evans to Madam Pomfrey." 

Not sparing him another glance, McGonagall gathered her robes around her and took Lily's arm in an imperious gesture. The girl, still grinning and winking at James, complied. James was left alone in the main hall. 

_How was it possible?_ he asked himself trying to remember when exactly Lily started to behave strangely. When she confessed her problems with her sister? No. When she accepted his invitation for Christmas? No. It was when she asked him abour sex, her tone intimate and iviting... 

Lost in his wistful memory, James was startled when a derisive chuckle came from above his head. 

"Trouble, Potter?" 

He looked up. Snape stood high on the landing of the large stairway, his elbows propped up on the railing. Great, exactly what he needed. 

"Everything's wonderful, Snape." he lied through his teeth. "How about you?" 

"Oh, simply peachy. Your date with the Head Girl went well?" 

"My..." James's fingers twitched, eager to grab his wand and curse Snape to hell and back. "Why, jealeous?" 

A dangerous glimmer flickered in Slytherin's unreadable eyes. "Jealous of a Gryffindor? Dream on, Potter." 

Deciding he had more important things to do than standing in the middle of the hall and exchanging insults with Snape, James shrug and started his way to the Hospital Wing. He had to know how come Lily managed to ger herself drunk.

***


	10. Part Ten

**A/N:** Thank you all for your patience, real life has been a real pain lately and thus I had very little time to even think about the shape of a new chapter. It's probably why it turned out to be a filler chapter, I didn't fell like anything actually happening. Those of you who guessed Leocadia's involvement, feel free to award yourself a chocolate frog. But that _was_ rather trasparent, wasn't it? :) And, per usual, forgive me any spelling errors, grammar mistakes and any misuse of words and expressions. Writing with a dictionary can have surprising results. 

**

Bed of Roses  
Part Ten

**

***

Lily wished the ground would split and swallow her whole. It was bad enough to know that she had behaved like a totally irresponsible ditz, babbling nonsense about sex, insulting Slytherins, jumping off the railings (well, almost) and nearly getting herself killed, but being constantly reminded of the fact, by Hogwarts staff no less, was more than little disturbing. 

"Do you feel better?" Madam Pomfrey asked her.

Lily cleared her throat; the Detoxication Potion tasted vile. "Yes, thank you."

"It's a good thing Mr Potter was with you," the nurse commented conversationally while taking the readings with the help of her wand.

No, it was not a good thing, Lily's spirits were dragged down with the burden of shame. What does he think of me now?How am I supposed to look him in the face? How am I supposed to help him in Potions?

The Gryffindor Potions practice would start on Monday. This evening she could hide in her room, and she could stay there all Sunday. She even could avoid talking to him on Monday morning, but she couldn't back away from tutoring sessions that late. Maybe she would call in sick?

"All right, you're back to normal," Madam Pomfrey diagnosed. "Off with you."

Here goes the chance of calling in sick. Miserably, Lily gathered several issues of _'The Healer'_ to have something to occupy her thoughts with in the evening, and left th Hospital Wing. Her next stop was at McGonagall's office; the Gryffindor Head of House required explanation. How was she going to explain? She had no idea what had happened! Sure, there was a moment she wished she could get drunk on the butterbeer, but wishing didn't make things happen, did it? She was not _that_ powerful a witch. If this kind of trick worked, Muggle-borns like her would be wiped off the face of Earth by that Death Eaters movement...

Merlin, incredible how her mind could find a way to avoid dealing with the issue!

She was about to turn into the corridor leading up to McGonagall's office, when the call stopped her. A familiar voice. Too familiar in fact. Oh gods, not _him_, not _now_!

"Evans!"

She turned around. "Snape," she said sourly.

He stopped in front of her, his hands full of parchments. He handed her one of the scrolls. 

"Raport on the state of the Potions lab." He handed her another one. "And inventarisation. Slytherin gives the lab away spotless and without one missing vial."

She greeted her teeth, accepting the scrolls. "It's Saturday evening, Snape. Couldn't you have waited til Monday?"

He smirked. "Touchy, aren't we? Potter got drunk and started to act more of an idiot than he already is?"

Lily thought she had misheard. "What did you say?"

"I asked if Potter acted more of--"

"No, earlier."

"That you are touchy? Terribly sorry to point that out, but you are, you know. Seems I came in the wrong time. Salazar forbid that I would stand in the way of the Head Girl... although she _is_ a Head Girl and should have time for the prefects bussiness--"

"That part about getting drunk," she clarified, struggling to keep calm.

There was something resembling triumphant glint in his black eyes. "Don't tell me I actually guessed? Just like Potter, predictable like a trained monkey."

"No, you didn't guess," Lily said coldly, after considering briefly whether to tell Snape about the incident or not. She finally opted against: give a Slytherin an information and there's no way of knowing what use they put it to. "Anything else you need?"

For a moment he looked as if he wanted to say something, but it was soon covered by a shrug of indifference. "No, that's all."

"Good."

She resumed her walk, leaving Snape behind. Devious, tricky snake. His tongue dripped either sarcasm or false sweetness, but they couldn't conceal the sliminess of his personality. He knew much more than he let out, that one was sure. So she hadn't simply gotten drunk. It was more than little probable that she had ended up as an object of some kind of a twisted prank and that Snape had a hand in it. 

***

It was well after dark when Sirius managed to convince James that the best place to talk would be a Quidditch pitch. Preferably with some little practice by the moonlight.

"I'm sure it was her!" James made a nice dive to avoid the Bludger Peter has thrown his way. "There's no other explanation! McGonagall made sure that Lily wasn't falling into insanity, and that there was no spell placed upon her. The butterbeer must have been spiked!"

"But... Leocadia Lowell?" Peter managed through pants. "She's way too... you know... too proper, too nice, too _Hufflepuff!_"

Sirius snorted. "Do you know any other Hufflepuff who gets along with Slytherins better than with members of her own House? She might as well be one of them!"

"She's not cunning enough," Remus injected, flying up. The full moon was not a week away so he was in the peak of his physical condition and served as the second Beater to their team of four. Usually he was asked to play a Seeker, but the dark prevented them from the full practice with the Snitch. "I don't think she would come up with spiking somebody's drink with alcohol, but she might have been asked to by--"

"Lestrange! Maybe he Imperioed her!" Peter exclaimed. "I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to kill all Gryffindors off!"

"We're talking about Slytherins here," Remus cut in, "so let's think who would benefit from getting Lily drunk. They never do anything if they don't have bussiness in it."

"Unless we're speaking about Snape," Sirius remarked, his broom in danger of getting out of control. "He needs no reason. He would do anything just to spite us."

James nodded. The brainstorm was proving successful in helping him understand what might have happened. "Good point. Not to mention that spiking someone's drink sounds like Snape."

"But what bussiness would Snape have in getting _Lily_ drunk? It doesn't make sense," wondered Peter as he swung the club at the approaching Bludger.

Sirius barely avoided the heavy ball. "He wanted to piss off Remus, what else!"

Remus searched the air for the Bludger, looking like he needed to hit something. "I don't get pissed off and he has no reason to think it would affect me!" he cried in frustration. "Lily's no longer my girlfriend and Snape, of all people, was the first to see how the two of us really are!"

"Oh don't be obtuse, Moony!" James said irritably. "It did affect you. It affected all of us, Lily's our friend. Even if Snape has no idea what friendship is, he knows how to use it aganst us. Or did a year and a half dim your memory?"

By the time he finished the sentence, James was sorry he opened his mouth. Remus and Sirius both visibly clenched their hands harder on the brommsticks and flew off after the Bludger.

"You can't pretend that it doesn't matter to you!" James cried after them. He was sick of treating Remus like a fragile doll. "You were with her for over a year, so don't say it means nothing to you!"

Remus appeared by his side rather unexpectedly, emerging from the dark like a ghost. James pulled his broomstick upwards to avoid the collision.

"You're right," Remus said quietly. "It still means a lot to me. However, I'm not blind. I see what's going on. I can see that your concern for Lily's wellbeing is not so innocent or bussinesslike as you'd like us to think. I can see that you're interested. So don't shift all the blame on me, James."

James forgot his tongue for a moment. He was so careful trying not to give any indication of his feelings towards Lily, especially to Remus. He considered briefly on making Remus elaborate on the subject, but there was something else he wanted explained.

"Blame...? What blame?"

The werewolf steadied his broomstick, his face grim. "If I noticed that you're not indifferent to Lily, Snape probably also did. So who do you think he wanted to hurt? Me? He does hate me, but it's nothing in comparison to the hate he has for the life debt he owes _you_. It's highly likely that the target was you, not me. Lily got involved in our dealings with Slytherins by being with me and I feel awful enough for it, but I doubt this little incident had anything to do with _me._"

Before James had time to reply, Remus was on the other side of the Quidditch pitch, dismounting his broom and readying himself to leave.

"Great going," Peter remarked, as he flew up to James. "Next time, Prongs, would you consider thinking before talking? Every time the Shrieking Shack incident is brought up the temperature drops below freezing point, you remember that? You don't have to share a room with them, but I do."

"Sorry, Pete," James muttered, his mind racing.

"I honestly don't know what's wrong with you. You're usually more considerate than this..."

"I know. I'm really sorry, I had a couple of hard days..."

"Didn't we all?" 

"Yeah, you're right."

Luckily, Peter didn't push the matter. Shaking his had and murmuring something about mean Slytherins and silly quarrells, he followed his dormmates. It took James several seconds to realize that they didn't come to any conlusion. Sighing, the Head Boy humbly landed by the trio, who were already on their way to the castle.

"I'm sorry, okay?" he said, raising his hands in a gesture of giving in. "But what do we do now? It's almost a sure thing that Leocadia spiked Lily's butterbear on Slythierns' order, and the reason was to hit _us_ where it hurts most. And in case you have forgotten, Lily almost got _killed_."

"We have no damn proof," Sirius commented angrily. "Castor would crucify us if we dared to go to Dumbledore and say a word against his precious bastards without solid proof. After Shrieking Shack he's so damn outspoken... one would think he's a lawyer or something."

"Dumbledore might believe us, we have reasons to suspect them, " Peter said. "But without proof he will do nothing to punish them."

"We can punish them ourselves," Sirius remarked matter-off-factly. 

"First things first, we need to save Lily," James pushed his glasses up his nose. "You're right Pete, our suspicions are justified. It can take Lily off the hook, certainly they don't believe that she had gotten drunk herself."

"Good idea," Remus conceded. "I will go to Dumbledore--"

"No, I will," James countered. "I was there, right? I saw Leocadia... oh shit."

"What?" Peter asked.

"A hole in our reasoning," Remus was the one to catch on immediatly. "We suspect Slytherins. Leocadia is a Hufflepuff."

"A more Slytherin Hufflepuff than most of the Snake House," Sirius barked, getting infuriated. "We know that..."

"But Dumbledore doesn't," Remus explained patiently.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Dumbledore knows everything."

"Oh, really, _Padfoot_?" Peter drawled.

"Dumbeldore is a good judge of character," James sumed up. "We don't have anything to lose. It's our fault that Lily got into this, and we must at least try to help her out. Besides, there's one more argument to our cause."

Remus frowned. "That is?"

James concentrated. This matter has been bothering him ever since he realized that Lily's drink might have been spiked. 

"Nobody starts acting weird five minuted after getting a sip of alcohol and then jumps off the stairways without reservations. I doubt it's been just alcohol in that butterbeer."

"Potion?" hissed Sirius. "Snape!"

"Possibly."

"That son of a--"

"Calm down, mate," Remus nudged Sirius sharply in the ribs, his tone persuading. "You're taking it to extremes."

"We will take care of Snape later. Now I will have to talk to Dumbledore."

Peter winced. He has been called to the Headmasters office on several occasions before, along with his troublemaking friends, and he didn't enjoy the old wizard's soul-permeating gaze.

"Good luck, Head Boy."

***

James left Dumbledore in much easier state of mind than he was in when he entered his office. The patriarch listened to his accusation and suspicions carefully, but gave no indication whether he believed them or not. However, he did say that neither he nor Professor McGonagall held Lily responsible for the incident and that was enough to draw a relieved grin to James's face. He even awarded James ten points for saving Lily's life and mentioned that he regretted that he couldn't give more without risking uncomfortable questions. James didn't quite know how to feel about those points. He supposed he would rather do without them. It was not a pleasant thought to know what they were awarded for. Only when they parted, Dumbledore uttered a sentence that made James think.

_"If what you claim is true... what do you think brought it about? Does this childish rivalry have to become a founding of hatred?"_

James couldn't say that he hated Snape, but today he was begining to. On the adversary's side the rivalrly stopped being childish and turned to hatred already. James could even pinpoint the exact moment. It was in Dumbledore's office a year and a half ago, when Snape had to pledge the life debt to him. Before that time, the main focus of Snape's malice had been Sirius. Afterwards, it was all three of them, Peter being targeted only because of his affiliation with them. And now Lily...

Was Remus right? Was it his, James's falult that the Head Girl became exposed to the war that has been going on? Did the slimy git notice James's feelings and chose the object of those feelings to strike at? 

Several memories flashed through James's mind. Snape's tirade that resulted in Lily's and Remus' breakup. Lily asking, _"What do you know about love?_" And Snape's quiet response, _"You'd be surprised."_ Snape's face in the lab, softening at some thought. Snape's anger earlier today... James shuddered, apalled. Slytherins never do anything unless they have something to gain...

Has the cause of war changed? Was it still about Gryffindor versus Slytherin, or was it about... Lily?"

James suddenly found himself clenching his fists. He wouldn't dare!

_Of course he would. He's a constantly scheming snake who would do anything to get what he wants, and if it's soemthing aginst me and my friends, then all the better. But if he thinks he's going to win, he's very, very wrong._

***

**A/N:** Lily as another Helen of Troy? That would be fun, wouldn't it? (I recall a plot bunny on FAPark, where we tried to make it happen, creating the war between Slytherin and Gryfindor and matching the characters of HP to those of Iliad. Pity nobdy decided to give it a try) But have no fear, Lily loves James (anybody doubted?). And yup, I'll explain a little more about the Potion Lily's butterbeer has been spiked with. 


End file.
